Quarantined: Working at Home with Kids

Working from home with kids is not an easy task. In fact, you probably can't even read this without being interrupted 311 times, unless it's 1am.

As a reference, my kids are 5 & 7 years old. Both of them were home with me 100% of the time until they started Kindergarten. The oldest started K last year and the youngest started K this year. These past few months were the first time I was able to work from home with no children in the house.

Tips for EVERYONE that work-at-home with kids.
If you want one single tip from this whole post here it is:  Schedule your day and stick to it so you have blocks of time for work.

• Schedule meals and snacks - If you don't schedule eating they will ALWAYS be eating and ALWAYS be asking you to get them food. A L W A Y S!
• Breakfast, mid-morning snack (or second breakfast), lunch, afternoon snack, and dinner
• A good rule is every 2.5-3 hours put food out. That sounds like something one might say about a pet, but it applies here too.
• Make the snacks a tray of food - example: cheese, fruit, something crunchy like goldfish or veggie straws, something salty like olives or pickles, and a veggie (if your kids eat those foreign objects). They can nibble until the next meal.

• Schedule a bedtime and stick to it. I am feeling your eye rolls already. I know this may sound like the most unrealistic thing to attempt, but it will be the best thing you have ever done for yourself. 
• The key here is to make bedtime non-negotiable. 
• If you pick 7pm then you need to start the routine at 6pm: bath, books, bed
• If the kids can read independently, tell them they can read in bed with a book light until they get tired. 
• As an example: My kids went to bed at 6pm until they were about 5 years old. Now that we are quarantined, and have no hockey/dance/school functions we are holding steady at a 7pm lights out bedtime. The 7-year-old reads for a little before she falls asleep. This gives me a solid 3 hours to work before I get tired.
• Side note: If you don't have to work, you and your partner get to just hang out. If you like one another, this may result in some good conversation, arguments about who's music is best, and enjoying a drink or two. 

• Nights are for focused work. Unfortunately, if the children are awake, you will still get interrupted. According to a study I read once (but can't remember the name of) it takes 7 minutes to get focused up after being interrupted. That's a lot of lost time.
• Day time work should be for answering emails and doing the easy stuff. 
• Kid screen time should be reserved for conference calls and other work tasks that can't be done at night. More on this below.
• Cleaning, laundry, and cooking should all be done at times when children can help out. 
• No child is too young to contribute to the household - chores teach responsibility
• Cooking is a group task. Kids love sharp stuff, give that 5 year-old a butter knife and have them cut the tops off strawberries. 
• Home economics is school too.

Infant - Toddler - Preschool
Obviously, this will not really apply to an infant. When you are in that phase just attempt a nap schedule that coincides with "quiet-time" which will give you a block of time to work. This works best after lunch and can be 1-2 hours depending on if your older child naps or not.

• Quiet time boxes are a MUST!  The concept is simple: Put toys in boxes and rotate them every day. Think about the toy boxes you have at home. Do the kids ever play with anything in them?  Maybe just a few toys off the top?  Have you ever attempted to throw away unused toys and all of a sudden it's Christmas morning and everything is being played with?  You get the idea. 
• If your stores are open go buy 20 medium/large size Sterilite-type containers or order them online from amazon. 
• When they arrive, take some time to drop all the toys into various boxes. This will work better if there is a variety of toys in one box. (example: coloring books, crayons, blocks, a few barbies, a book, and some cars) 
• If you have preschool-age kids this works best using theme boxes. Example: restaurant box - play food, utensils, paper and crayons to make a menu, fake money, etc. Keep the ideas simple  - school, mail, office, grocery, health, space, dinosaurs, princess, weather, etc. No theme is boring to a kid. 
• The boxes will be used during the 1-2 hour quiet time they spend in their room. Having "new" toys to play with every day will remove the number of distractions from your work time which should coincide with quiet time. 
• When quiet time is over, pack the boxes up and put them away.  They are special and should only be used during this time. 
• The toys should be age-appropriate or younger. If anything is too difficult they are going to want you to help them, so keep it simple.

Preschool - Homeschool - Early Elementary

I started homeschooling the oldest when she turned 3 because honestly, she was unbearable with nothing to do. A nice way of putting it is that she is a "spirited" child. At that point, I had a 1 1/2-year-old, a 3-year-old, a puppy, and I was working from home full-time. Here is when I really had to get my shit together.

• School time is 100% you focusing on them. Do not think you can work and have them do school at the same time. Unless your child is older and enjoys reading quietly on their own, you will need to be right next to them answering questions and guiding them on what tasks to do next. 

• Homeschool is NOT a 6 hour day. Even the people that home school their older kids full-time, do not spend 6 hours on school. So just breathe. Anything is better than nothing.

• Schedule your school time. I can't stress this enough when working from home: schedule, schedule, schedule. 
• Preschool: Keep it short - Depending on the kid, this may be two 30 minute periods or 1 hour in the morning with some games in the afternoon. Games are a great way to learn math, social skills, reading and logic.
• Kindergarten: Currently I am doing 1.5 hours in the morning and another hour (if that) in the afternoon. Most of this is centered around whatever he is interested in right now. 
• Early Elementary: My oldest is in first grade, so I am still keeping it short. She is doing 2 hours in the morning and another hour in the afternoon + reading. 
• This sounds like a lot but you will see from my next post about homeschool, it is very short lessons and mostly based on what they enjoy doing, with a few worksheets sprinkled in.

• Morning school = afternoon work. 
• If you devote much of your morning to your children, you can ease the guilt when you work in the afternoon. 
• Save their favorite subjects for the afternoon so they can work independently, or at least work with less tears. My oldest cries whenever we do Math so I do Math right after our group work. She loves reading and writing so those are saved for afternoons.

• Save screens for afternoons/conference calls. 
• I am a little crazy about minimizing TV and iPads. I use screens for when I NEED to work or seriously need a break.
• Before a conference call, I always put out some snacks, turn on their favorite movie, or let them play on their ipads with instructions to NOT interrupt me. Tell them what happens if they do interrupt you during your call. Be specific and FOLLOW THROUGH so they know not to do that again.
• Unless you have to do focused work in the morning, do not use screens until the afternoon.

• Reading time is a requirement for all children old enough to read independently.
• Reading should be in the afternoons. This is the older child's version of "quiet time."
• Set a timer and tell them they are responsible for reading on their own until the timer goes off. 
• Make a reading challenge if your kids are competitive. 
• Let them choose their books, even if it's graphic novels, comics or other things you wouldn't choose for them. 
• At the end, ask the child to write out a page or passage from something they read today. 
• This adds a little writing and copy work into their school day. 
• If they enjoy art, ask them to draw a picture to go with their writing. 
• This activity will increase the time you have to finish up emails or other work.

This whole situation is not easy. You are going to get frustrated at your kids and irritated with work. Some days will be smooth and some days will completely suck. Older kids will understand your need to work a little more. Young kids won't understand why they can't hang all over you while you are trying to type a strongly worded email to Barb who is taking a leave of absence from her work-at-home schedule because she needs a day off for "mental health" reasons. Barb doesn't even have kids...

Final thoughts about being quarantined with our kids...

• Have a sense of humor. Some parents can laugh and be light-hearted about anything. I am not those parents, but keeping them in mind makes me rethink how I react to things. 
• Watch the Mr. Rogers documentary. The movie was good, but the documentary is excellent. It will remind you how important it is to try and look at things from your child's perspective.
• Think about what you are saying in front of your kids. If you keep talking about the coronavirus death toll, it is going to scare them. They don't need to be scared. They are looking to the adults in their life to protect them and make them feel safe. Being pulled away from their friends, teachers, and activities is plenty for them to digest right now.
• The more anxious you are, the more anxious they are. Anxious children do not allow parents to get any work done. They are needy, clingy, and whiney. Please make them feel safe and loved and focused on first, then deal with work. 

We are all in this together and we will make it through. Except for Barb... she is definitely not in this.

For other posts about working from home during a time when the world was not being quarantined, please search "work from home" in the search bar on this page. The information may be humorous, useful or neither. It's a crapshoot.