The Baby Blues

It's been 3 weeks since delivery and I am still battling the "Baby Blues".

Symptoms of “baby blues” include: (copied from the American Pregnancy Association website)

• Weepiness or crying for no apparent reason
• Impatience
• Irritability
• Restlessness
• Anxiety
• Fatigue
• Insomnia (even when the baby is sleeping)
• Sadness
• Mood changes
• Poor concentration

Luckily I don't have all these symptoms, but I have enough to make me watchful for post partum depression. I will gladly take a happy pill if that would help make me a better parent and wife.

Yup those are the ones!

I used to be a morning person, happily waking up with a song and a bounce in my step. Greeting the day like an old friend. Now I greet the day like Janice, the cranky old lady down the street, that screams at everyone walking by. She needs some sleep and maybe a really strong cocktail.

Ketcher has started to get more alert, and with that is a whole lot more crying. He also has some serious day/night confusion right now. He sleeps all day, so much that I have to wake him to eat, and then at night it's party time... and by party I mean endless poopy diapers, eating, and crying. My mantra is "Only a few more weeks.  Only a few more weeks.  Only a few more weeks."  By 6 weeks old they usually have the day/night confusion under control. By 12 weeks they lose the witching hours and start to fall into a decent schedule. Only a few more weeks.

Kenzie has good and bad moments.  I would be a lot more tolerant of her screaming fits if I had more sleep. Currently every time her high pitched siren goes off, I rush her into her room. It's all I can do to not lose it. By lose it I mean stoop to her level and get frustrated or yell. No sense in both of us tantruming for no reason.

I get especially pissed when Ketcher is finally drifting off to sleep after being awake for endless hours and Kenzie starts screaming. Her screams could break the sound barrier. She obviously inherited my lung capacity and loudness. This too shall pass, right?  When?  Can I get a date on that?

"You wish your eyebrows were this perfect!"
-girl in the mirror

As for me? I am at that horrible stage of thinking I should be back to my pre-baby body. I know... it's only been 3 weeks, but try telling that to the girl in the mirror. She is using my sleep deprivation against me, to get under my skin and taunt me like a sixth grader. I have already been through the hell of sixth grade, I am not going back. (See this post if you need more insight to my past.)

My insecurity is starting to spill out in the form of jealousy. Dan and I have been together for over a decade, so lets not jump to the conclusion that it's other women, I am jealous of his freedom. He will be returning to work on Friday after 3 weeks of man-ternity leave. He will once again enter the world of adult conversation, leaving me alone to talk to the only person who talks back, the girl in the mirror... oh and Janice.

Meet Janice! She likes warm hugs and walks
in the rain, said no one ever.

Only a few more weeks.