Total Body Makeover: The Mandy Project

Yup you guessed it. I totally fell off the wagon in October. In fact, I wouldn't even call it falling off... the wagon broke down, caught on fire, and exploded.

What a terrible month. If you have been following my blog you get the gist of the horror I went through, but I decided to pick myself up out of the ash and get a plan together. It's a doozy.

I decided after looking at old pictures of myself that I wasn't satisfied with my present situation. I love being a Mom, and working from home, and all that crap, but I don't love the fact that I don't bother to take care of myself, because I barely leave the house.  Pretty sure Dan doesn't love that either, although he is smart enough to not say anything unless I ask.

The epiphany came mid-October. Dan had planned a surprise visitor for the weekend to cheer me up. He sent me to the beer store after some obscure bottles he was sure they wouldn't carry. I was searching for the absent bottles, when my friend walked up to me and asked if I needed any help. I kept looking at the beer boxes, not even looking at her, and said "yes, I can't find Sam Adams Pumpkin.  This is Oktoberst, but I don't see pumpkin." (If any of you watch arrested development this was a very Lucille Bluth moment.) She got in my personal space, so I looked up to find my dear friend Ashlee laughing and smiling at me. Hair perfect, stylishly dressed, and make up impeccable. I on the other hand had my hair in a straggly mom braid, minimal makeup, sensible sneakers and jeans with a mustard stain. EEK! 

Enough is enough already...

Here is what I decided:

I miss my blonde hair.  I went back to brown before and during pregnancy for the safety of the babies. Also, I didn't have the energy to do more than pull a comb through it after I got out of the shower. Sadly, I also worried I would look like those old ladies that are too tan and too fake blonde well into their wrinkly gross years. I decided to hell with it, so I have begun the slow transition to be a too tan, too fake blonde, old lady.

An old picture of some of my favorite blonde hair.
That's the goal.

Wrinkles. I look in the mirror in the morning and figure I must have been scowling all night long with the deep "11" etched into my forehead. My worry lines are getting really deep now that Kenzie is an adrenaline junkie like her daddy. I asked for one birthday present this year: Botox. Now don't shake your heads. I have had it done before (before pregnancies) so it's nothing new. No one even notices but me. However, Dan did one better for my birthday. He took the Botox course so it's really the gift that keeps giving.

Time for these wrinkles to go away.
This is also a good picture of how dark my hair is now.

Get my post baby body strong again. Thanks to good genes and carefully not gaining more than what was recommended, I managed to bounce back to my original weight. However, there was a time when I was strong and had plenty of lean muscle to help with all the furniture moving I so enjoy. I need to get back to that. I am also catching every illness that Dan brings home on his grubby dental scrubs. I know that if I were healthier, my immune system would be back to "superior".



Don't judge. I was at an 80s party which is why my hair looks like this.
Anyway this was at my peak shape back in 2010. This is my goal.

Clothes. Here's where Dan's candor really hit the mark. As I thoughtfully went through the list of things I want to change, he added that I dress like a "Mom".  It's true. My fall from Macy's has come as a bit of a shock to me as well. I could blame it on the fact that we don't have a Macy's here, or a mall for that matter, but that's not it. My Mom uniform is a plain target T-shirt and jeans. Every. Single. Day.

So as you can see, I have a lot of work to do. I didn't squander the rest of October bitching and moaning. Instead I made a plan.

I started to research different workout options. The gym is not an option.  After reading many, many, many reviews, I decided on P90X. I bought an opened unused kit on ebay for $58. The seller made me laugh with this: "I bought this for my husband and he opened the box but never, ever, not even once, played even one of the DVDs."

I have the free weights and yoga mat, but I purchased a set of weighted bands and a pull up bar that goes in a doorway.

I dug out the DVD player from the crawl space. Why they don't sell these programs on iTunes is beyond me.

I have a loose diet plan ready to go, that includes a lot of high protein drinks and bars, as well as, other healthy snacks and meals. All fast, all easy. I won't have a lot of time for meal prep with hour+ long workouts 6 days a week, work, and caring for the kids. So fast and easy it must be for the next 90 days.

When will I work out? The sacred afternoon nap. Which means I will be working during the morning nap and after bedtime. Blech! It's only for 90 days. I can do it.

90 days is a long time so I have worked in some rewards.

• 30 day reward: pedicure
• 45 day reward: night out
• 60 day reward: vacation (already previously scheduled)
• 75 day reward: New shoes with heels
• 90 day reward: Shopping!

Goals.
By the end of 90 days, I want to see lean muscle, a flat stomach, blonde hair, smooth skin, and a new, non-mom wardrobe. That's not too much, right?

Every 30 days I will have new before/after photos so stay tuned to The Mandy Project.