Breaking Point

Last night I hit my breaking point. After a long month of deadlines, tasks, and being stretched to the max I finally exploded. 

We were getting into bed when Dan noticed a puddle of water on the sheets by our pillows. One of the dogs had knocked down a glass of water from our headboard. We got up and changed the fitted sheet. I soaked up what I could with some paper towels, and went back to trying to send one last email to a co-worker. As I am trying to fight with autocorrect (a minimum of 5 times) on my phone over "FYI" and it kept correcting to "Fri" Dan said. "You didn't soak this up very well, it's leaking through the sheet."  I looked down and hysterically yelled. "I CAN'T DO EVERYTHING!!!!"

This sums it up.

It has been a really long month. Work has been eating up ALL of my free time. With one company I am prepping taxes and getting out hundreds of 1099s, with another company I am pricing thousands of catalog items, and Dan pimped me out to his boss to help with their ever growing admin tasks that haven't been getting done.

I am working 50+ hours a week this month, trying to get in my workouts, cooking dinner, keeping the house clean, and trying not to neglect my two surprisingly patient children.

It's a good time of year, my bread and butter, but it's demanding and this is the first time I have tried to do it with 2 kids. I would say I have been keeping it together pretty good, you know, stuffing my emotions deep down, real healthy like.

So when I yelled at Dan his look of shock made me start laughing. Like a crazy hysterical laugh/cry. I was laughing but tears were coming out of my eyes, and not in a this-is-super-funny-so-I'm-crying kind of way. He just sat there thinking I was losing it for good.

If only...

I tried to explain, but there was really nothing he could understand. Since I work from home, it appears I do nothing all day except play with the kids and sing and dance, like a Disney movie. We have woodland creatures come and clean the house for us, and fairy god mothers to cook our meals. After the kids are in bed and I log into work for the next 3 hours, I really must be blogging and facebooking, not actually doing anything productive.

The reality is I am pretty much always logged into work. Either on my laptop or checking my emails from my phone. There are times I force myself to step away and hang with the kids, or workout. The workouts are certainly for my sanity as well as my health.

Only 1 more month of this grueling work schedule and things will be back on track. January is the worst of it. February will get better. At least that's what I tell myself.

After I wiped the tears off my face, I jumped up and ran to get a towel, because apparently I can do everything.