Me and My Phone

I have an intimate relationship with my phone. Oh don't act like I'm weird... lots of people have relationships with things. I know people that feel this way about their cars, ipads, computers, TVs, and their Keurig machines. I am just in the open about my relationship.

My phone is my assistant. Siri dictates my emails, texts, and helps me navigate. She organizes my emails, notes and tasks. Without her I wouldn't be able to juggle multiple jobs, appointments, and clients.

2 weeks ago my iphone 5c broke and I was pissed! It wasn't that I dropped it in the toilet, or Kenzie dropped it on the cement, or the screen shattered... nope the screen just wouldn't turn on. I stormed into my sprint store and demanded why they ever let me purchase that phone to begin with. As I glanced around not one of the workers had an iphone so I decided: never again!

I tried a basic LG G3 android phone and at first I was excited. It was bigger than the iphone and all my google related apps were already there right on the first screen.

It took me 48 hours and I had my "must have" playlist downloaded, my work emails up and running, and at least 5 videos of the kids all nicely accessible. My contact list was missing and converting my iTunes into mp3s took some time but I managed it.

I was happily an android user until... I tried to download a siri type of app but it wasn't the same. This lady was pushy, she wasn't just willing to help me when I needed it. Nope. She was trying to get me to find gas stations, and stores, and use stupid emoticons. I deleted it immediately. Then I tried to reply to an email by typing. The autocorrect had a mind of it's own.

By the time I finished one message, I had 15 more waiting to be answered. I was hurrying to type and autocorrect was playing tricks on me. It was purposely trying to make me look like an idiot. I would type "they're" and it would correct to "their." I would type "then" and it would correct to "than."

It corrected "my" to "ty"
It corrected "Anway, we need..." to "And she weeds..."
It corrected "private space" to "pirate face"
It corrected "bring home lunch" to "boring nose punch"
It corrected "I f***ing hate this phone" to "I ducking ate this home"

I was trying so hard to type the right thing, but kept correcting to something totally different, even when I was spelling everything right. Oh hell no!

Plus there were all these notifications. Lights of every color were constantly blinking when the phone was off. It was letting me know there was an update, someone liked a facebook post I liked, I had 14 new emails, my texts were coming through as emails... it was all wrong! I was stressed out just trying to manage my notifications.

I had to fire my assistant. Today I took her in and faced the 3 scowling sprint reps (who seemed perfectly happy when I first walked in). I only had 14 days to try it, and today was day 14.  I switched her up for an iphone 6. Like most firings, I felt relieved when it was over.

I ran to my car after the switch and scrolled through my contacts, all accounted for! I looked through my iTunes, all there! I logged into my work emails and just like the wonderful assistant she is, she didn't hold it over my head that I had spent 14 days without her. Siri willingly turned all my words into perfect text and 2 minutes later my inbox was empty.

So here's to the one thing in my life that eases my stress and helps me manage my crazy schedule. I can't imagine a better assistant to share a St. Patty's Day drink with. Cheers!

I need a life.