If you were lucky enough to know him, you can imagine the pain I might be feeling right now. It feels endless.
However, if he could communicate with me right now he would be making jokes about finally getting to play poker with Wild Bill Hickok.
That doesn't look like a poker face. |
I have pasted my memorial speech below. I hope you enjoy reading it and please smile and remember all of the joy he brought to our lives.
***
In loving memory of my dad, whose essence can’t be described
in a 500 character obituary.
My dad didn’t want a funeral. He
would never want us to stand around crying for his loss. This is a celebration of his life. Tonight we
will tell stories and jokes and not be afraid to laugh. We will live exactly as
he wished: With compassion in our hearts and a smile on our faces, bringing joy
and light to everyone here tonight.
I hope that sharing my own stories
of my dad will make you remember, make you laugh, and encourage you to share
your own stories.
He was a simple man that loved family,
hunting, poker, the Detroit Lions and of course fishing. Going through hundreds
of pictures no matter how big or small the fish was, he still had the same gigantic
smile on his face with every catch.
Every year, while my friends went
to the beach, or Disney World, or skiing for spring break, he and I would pack up
for a week of camping and fishing. He would tell amazing stories and have all
of us kids believing in Sasquatch and the magic of our Sasquatch sticks that we
had created that day out of tree branches. His ghost stories were so scary that
a 12 year old could wet their pants. (Don't ask how I know that.) We would hike around the rivers and
through the forests. Once I slipped and fell into a giant mud puddle.
Immediately he halted our crew and
said: “Amanda, are you okay?”
I said (through gritted teeth): “yes.”
Then he said: “Okay everyone, you
can go ahead and laugh now.” Everyone burst out laughing.
Each one of us can stand here and
tell a story about how he made us laugh. When I was in elementary school we
were asked to talk about what our Dad’s did for a living.
I said “My dad is a comedian.”
My teacher said “I don’t think
that’s right, can you explain what he does?”
I said “He sits on a stool and
makes jokes into a microphone.”
At the time I didn’t realize the
difference between “comedian” and “committee man” at GM but either way I think
we all can agree he was always making us laugh.
I can’t think of anyone that would
make a better Santa Claus than my dad. When he would put on that suit he became
the real Santa Claus. Giving out gifts and laughs to all of the children and
adults every year on Christmas Eve. When the children were grown he and my mom
would still play Santa by paying mortgages, delivering cookies, and visiting
with family and friends. In my mind he
was the real Santa Claus…. Unless he had on a Grinch mask, in which case, don’t
even try messing with his bag of candy.
Photo credit: Havasunews Shockingly there are a bunch of photos of the Grinch getting arrested so I guess he's not the only one. |
He wasn’t much of a talker, but he
would sit on the end of my bed as I played with my toys and just listen to the
ramblings of a little girl. He was always there, ready to give me a hug
whenever I did or didn’t need it.
In 7th grade I tried
out for cheerleading. I’m sure my parents were dreading tryouts watching their
uncoordinated, 11 year old in crooked glasses, practicing for the big day. When
that day arrived and my name was not called, my dad drove me home as I cried.
He said no words, and just simply handed me a roll of life savers.
To say that my dad loved the
Detroit Lions is an understatement. I doubt there was another person that ever
rooted for them as wholeheartedly and loudly as my dad.
On my 16th birthday he
took me to my first and only lions game. He yelled so loud from the upper deck
at the silver dome I was sure the coach and players could hear him. I’m also
sure that’s one of the reasons I have to wear hearing aids today. I will never
forget that trip or how often he yelled out to
Herman Moore, or that Greg Landry leaned on the ball one too many times.
That bottom pic is on my 16th birthday. Clearly I was thrilled. |
My dad was a big kid at heart and
treated every child like his own. He would walk all of the kids in the
neighborhood to school with me. He told cheesy dad jokes and growing up all of
my friends would wish they had him as a dad. Even as adults at my bachelorette
party he told my friends to call him when the night was over and he would drive
them to the diner for breakfast and then home. Oddly enough… that’s exactly
what they did. It wasn’t because one of them couldn’t drive, it was just
because it was Tom and people just wanted to be around him.
Family always held a special place
in his heart.
It didn’t matter if I lived in the
same town or hundreds of miles away he would always answer the phone the same
way:
“Is this the person to who I am speaking to?”
38 years
of marriage to my mom and it’s undeniable that they loved each other just as
much as they always did. He beamed with
pride when he talked about his grand kids. My kids may be too young to remember
him, but he will live on through my stories and memories. I will retell his
jokes and sing his silly songs to them. He will never be forgotten and he will
always bring laughter.
I know if I ask him tonight: “Dad,
are you okay? He would answer yes… you can go ahead and laugh now.”
Thank you for reading. Please feel free to share your memories here or on facebook.