Screen Time Fast: How we got here, and what it has done.

There is a fifth dimension beyond that which is known to man. It is a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as infinity. It is the middle ground between light and shadow, between science and superstition, and it lies between the pit of man’s fears, and the summit of his knowledge. This is the dimension of imagination. It is an area which we call ... The Screen Fast Zone.

Okay that was a little dramatic, but in today's society screens are everything, so this feels like another dimension.

I am no expert on parenting, in fact, I make a LOT of mistakes. I am an expert on owning those mistakes and making them right. My biggest mistake, that I am trying to correct, is too much screen time.

Before I was pregnant with my youngest, I was sure that my kids would not be exposed to screen time until they were 2 years old... as recommended by the academy of pediatrics. However, with 1st trimester fatigue (of a second pregnancy, when it feels like a truck has driven over you and left you for dead), I decided my high spirited oldest needed some form of entertainment.

I started out with one episode of Sesame Street a few times a week, but slowly, and over time, she started watching one episode daily. After little man was born, it was a free for all. Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, Word World, Sesame Street, and Leap Frog. I would rationalize that they were educational shows. Although she did learn a surprising amount of stuff, it wasn't worth the side effects.

I vaguely noticed that she was addicted. Asking for TV almost constantly but it was the background noise in a very noisy stream of repetitive 2 and 3 year old speak.

I truly didn't realize how damaging the TV was until we have now gone a week without it.

Here is my diary of progress...

Screen Fast Day 1 (Wednesday): It's moderately warm out and I am taking advantage of it. The first thing the kids said to me this morning was "Can I watch TV?" Seriously? Parenting fail. I said "No" and 3 year old broke down and cried. This continued on and off until 10am when it was warm enough to go out for a walk. After the playground, when we got home, it started again. I will not give in...

She's not thinking about screen time here.

After quiet time we walked to the post office, which everyone enjoyed. With all of this outdoor time, we don't need TV at all. The kids still asked for TV constantly at home, but I held out. I can do this.

Bedtime is a mad house. The kids were bouncing off the walls and I questioned if they would ever fall asleep. Eventually they passed out. How can they be so nuts after so many hours of running around? I passed out shortly after working three hours and picking up the house.

Screen Fast Day 2 (Thursday): At breakfast, they started in again with asking for TV. No tears this time though so that's progress.

I didn't get up early enough today to take a shower before the kids were up. I used to turn on a show for them. Today I decided to put them in their rooms and let them each listen to a read-along book. I will be using this method from now on. They weren't even interested in coming out when I open their doors after 15 minutes.

Another day at the playground, and then a walk to the post office after quiet time. I guess not having mailboxes here has it's advantages. There is a snow storm heading our way, I am hoping it misses us, but I am certain I won't be that lucky.

A few photos of the fun at the playground, and one
of them looking through a book together.

At the playground the kids played together. This is strange and wonderful and I didn't have to run in two different directions for 2 hours. It started sleeting so we left. We spent the rest of the day cleaning out Kenzie's closet. TV comes up at least once an hour, but I tune out their requests.

Bedtime was still crazy but Kenzie seemed to settle down a little quicker tonight. Ketch played in his room for a while. Apparently he figured out how to turn on the light so I had to remedy that.

Screen Fast Day 3 (Friday):  Playground again. Thank God the elementary is out for Spring Break this week. I'm not sure I would survive.  It was a Mom playdate morning and everyone came back to my house when it started to snow.  Kenzie broke down and tantrummed when one of the kids was playing a preschool app on their mom's phone. That was the worst tantrum over media so far. Eventually she stopped and played with her friends.

They went a little crazy with so many people in the house. Screaming, running around, jumping, playing... you know, just being kids. I let it happen and it was all good. The other Moms were cool about it. Thank God for other parents, right?

Bedtime was easier. The kids were pretty tired from a full day of fun.

Screen Fast Day 4 (Saturday): Kenzie has changed the most from this screen fast. She actually dressed up in a fairy costume, for the first time in months. Our little fairy then worked a puzzle, which was the first one in months. She has also been singing and humming to herself which is so precious.

I can be so sweet when I am not asking for TV
every 11 seconds.

Our first time eating lunch out of the house was today. Our go-to is a movie so we can sit and eat in peace. It was tough to hold out, but we didn't give in and that was a total win. Kenzie got up and walked around a little, but there was really no one in the area we were and we just let her go. Everyone survived and stayed in good spirits.

It is too cold to hang out outside but we did go to the pet store up here, since there is little else for entertainment.

Screen Fast Day 5 (Sunday): The day is going great. Kenzie asked for TV once and then said "We were watching too much TV weren't we?" They played with a tape measure for a good hour chasing each other around the house with it. It was noisy but good fun.

We attempted a walk, but the snow was up to Ketcher's waste and he wasn't having it.

I know guy, I'm not happy about this either.

We went to our favorite pizza place for dinner which has TVs on nearly every wall. While the kids sort of watched some of the sports, mostly they played with the crayon sets, and painting books I brought.

Bedtime was quick.

Screen Fast Day 6 (Monday): No requests for media what-so-ever. We had a busy morning running errands and Kenzie had a cooking class. That night the kids played together, taking turns pushing each other in a basket, around the house. It was fantastic.

Bedtime was easy tonight after I let the kids say good night to each other. Neither of them wanted to separate and go to their own rooms. It was sweet. Kenzie actually fell asleep within a few minutes of me exiting the room. Ketcher took an extra long nap today, so he took a little longer. There were no bedtime tears though and he mostly just sat in bed and looked at books until he fell asleep.

Screen Fast Day 7 (Tuesday): No requests for TV again. The kids are playing together like best friends. There is still the occasional squabble over a toy, but they are enjoying each others company. Exactly what I wanted with two kids so close in age. Better yet, they aren't coming to me for entertainment like they used to. Also, I can't remember the last time they had a random crazy tantrum over nothing. Oh wait... there's one.

Okay so it's not all sunshine and rainbows, it's reality. They are still 2 years old and 3 years old. They have shown a lot more self control, less emotional melt downs, and less repetitive asking for TV. The very biggest change has been their ability to entertain each other. Unless they are hungry or really want me to see something they have created, they are more than happy to play alone or with each other. That makes me happy.

Good luck to all who enter the screen fast zone, may your lives never be the same again.

For additional reading and the science beyond the screen time fast please read Reset Your Child's Brain by Victoria Dunkley. The book states that interactive screen time is much more damaging to kids... this means everything from video games to preschool apps or simple screen puzzles.

Hello, I'm here.

It's been a long time since I have written. Writing feeds my soul, and it is starting to starve without it.

Since it has been months since I have actually attempted to write anything with feeling, I'm not quite sure where to begin.

First of all, being a work-from-home parent of a 1 year old and a 2 1/2 year old, is as you would expect. It's like being trapped on a sinking ship, trying to blow up a life preserver that has a hole in it. Sometimes it appears that the ships hole has been patched and we are sailing to the shore... and just as I can see land it starts to sink again. Trying to blow up that broken life preserver leaves me exhausted and out of breath.

Work has tripled in the past few months. I'm not complaining, it has just caused me a few premature wrinkles and about 2-3 hours less sleep at night. I'm managing. The good news is that I feel really great about my accounting business, but I could kick my own ass, for taking that extra job at Dan's office back in January. I took it because I wanted a day away from the house, but after a month they gave my dusty desk to someone that actually shows up every day, and I was banished back to my home.

No bother, I have plenty of extra time now that Ketcher is mobile. His favorite places to play are in the pots and pans cupboard, and in his sister's bedroom. It's so easy to work when both kids are banging their hearts out to something that sounds like John C Riley at the end of Stepbrothers. (starts at 3:14)



With Ketcher's mobility, comes Kenzie's hyper awareness that her brother is all up in her business. Every toy is a battle. Every snack is something to hoard. Every bath frays my nerves. She is ready to spring at any moment. Even the hugs look more like wrestling moves from WWF... er, WWE is it now?  Anyway, you get the idea.

I am going to order one of those referee whistles. I'll let you know how it works out.

I have been combing pinterest and facebook articles trying to come up with some sort of sanity savor. Naps are getting shorter, bedtimes are getting later, and I am trying to salvage a small piece of peace in my day. Then I found it...

The baby still has his two naps per day. Kenzie watches a movie during his first nap and during the second nap she proceeds to either kick the living hell out of the door of her room, or beat on her windows and walls until she feels she has achieved her goal - to make Ketcher wake up and cry.

Leave the door open you say? Oh... that's cute.

Anyway, this afternoon nap is a critical time in my day for conference calls, damage control, and other work related items that need my full attention.

I was lazily reading through my facebook parenting websites, at 5am one morning, and I found this gem...



http://www.cuttingtinybites.com/2015/05/guide-to-quiet-time-boxes.html

These boxes serve 2 purposes: 1. Aiding in Kenzie falling asleep at 7pm. 2. Keeping her arms and legs from making noise during nap time.

If Kenzie does take a nap, she usually stays up in her room until around 9pm. That's a lot of noise, and a long time for her to be messing around. So out with the nap, and in with "quiet time".

I made 15 boxes to rotate over the next few months. Each box has a book, at least one puzzle, blocks or another building set, and a variety of toys that never really get played with on a daily basis.

These only took a few hours to make - due to
the kids removing each toy as I placed it in the box.

I also went to the library and checked out 2 CDs worth of stories to play while she is in her room. Be warned: the fairy tales and fables are actually freaky and quite dark.  Nothing like a little Rumplestiltskin to scare kids into behaving.

Yesterday was the first day. I put her in her room, with the drapes open enough to shine some light in. I opened the box of toys and made a big deal of how awesome it all was. I pushed play and left. I went upstairs to watch it unfold on the monitor while I did some work.

Not one sound came from her room the whole time. She happily built a tower, played with the puzzles, looked through the books, and generally seems quite content.

She was a little over tired by the time 7pm came. I was trying to get her calmed down and in bed by reading and made this mistake:

Me: "It's time for bed. Do you want to read or are you going to screw around?"
Kenzie: "Oh, screw around."
- at least she's honest.

So, we counted the stars and I left the room, fully expecting her to jump up and start kicking the door. No kicks ever came. She fell asleep instantly and slept until a little after 7am.

The battle has been won...

Now it's the end of the day. I have mastered being an awesome parent today, which has left me nearly comatose on the floor. I can feel my phone vibrating. I have 67 emails that came in between 3pm and 7pm and all of them are urgent. I peel my face off the carpet, and brush the dog hair off  - I really need to vacuum -  I haul myself up to my room to work until midnight.

Tomorrow, it starts again...

Do you have any ideas for gaining a few moments of peace throughout the day? I need all the ideas I can get!

Thanks for reading!
-Amanda