Wednesday, September 23, 2015

Trapped!

A toddler, a baby, and a puppy are stuck in one room all day... no this is not the beginning of a hilarious joke, unless you count the one that has been played on me.

Today the living room and hallway to the children's bedrooms are off limits. We are having the floors redone. How am I going to survive this day with 2 toddlers and a puppy? Well... blog about it, of course.

The day begins at 6:30am... First I have to take the puppy out and then get cleaned up before the workers arrive. We were told they would be here between 7:30 and 8:00am.

7:00am I release the kids from their rooms and it's time for breakfast. I can never get the food into Ketcher's mouth fast enough. He cries while I cook the oatmeal, eggs, bacon, and bagels.

7:30am Dan lets the puppy and Tully down. Breakfast for all. I can't put Kenzie in her high chair, which is blocked by the couch. The puppy bites at her pants, she screams relentlessly.

8:00am I finish carrying toys, clothes, diapers, a small table and chairs upstairs for the days activities. The puppy continues to bite at the kids and they scream and cry. The puppy decides to crawl under the bed and destroy an old unfinished Sudoku book. If it keeps him away from the kids, I don't care.

8:30am Where the hell are these people? I'm glad I woke up 30 minutes early to get ready. Sarcasm font. I had to put the puppy in his crate for 10 minutes of quiet. There is no amount of coffee that can make this morning bearable. Kenzie is coloring with the magic markers that only appear on the special coloring books. Ketcher is using those markers to color the walls and furniture. Thank God for those markers.

8:35am Tully perks his head up. I am assuming they are here. I come downstairs to find them already in the living room discussing what they will be doing. On one hand it's unnerving to find 3 men in your house that didn't knock to come in, on the other hand, if they had knocked the dog would have barked and set off a chain reaction of crying and screaming.

9:00am This past half hour has been quiet. The kids are watching Doc McStuffins, Tully is napping on the bed, the puppy is still in his crate, and I am working. This seems doable... until I release the puppy again.

9:30am The kids need to get dressed and then we have to walk the dogs. Outside is gloomy, cold and still wet from the frozen grass thawing. Ketcher wants to pick up giant rocks and carry them around. That's a broken foot waiting to happen. My lower back is screaming as I am trying to juggle 2 leashes and a 30 lb toddler on my hip. I can't wait for this day to be over. It's only 9:30...

10:30am Finally it's time for some grocery shopping.  My favorite time of day is anytime I am in the car. Kiddos are strapped in, Ketcher is already sleeping and we haven't left our neighborhood yet. Kenzie and I are quietly listening to the music.

11:15am After picking up mail at the post office, we arrive at Target. I get the kids out, set Kenzie's cart on the ground and we head in.

11:16am we are heading back out to the car. Kenzie needs to pee and refuses to do it in the big public potty. I keep diapers and wipes in the car for both kids so I slip one on her. She pees, I take it back off and we are heading back inside. The guy taking his break next to the door looks at me like I'm crazy.

11:45am This is not the fun trip I was expecting. Kenzie is refusing to push her cart. I did find her some Sofia the first dolls on clearance to carry around. She wants to ride in the basket but baby brother is in his rightful spot. She is pissed.

11:55am We made it back out to the car and after I throw some packets of Doc McStuffins fruit snacks at the kids, I tear open the pouch of cookie dough. Nothing has ever tasted better. Ever.

12:05 Lunch at jimmy johns with the kids. We come here so often, as soon as we walk in, the kids grab a bag a chips and go sit down in a booth. I order the food, get my large coke, and join them. Ketch eats half a slim 4, Kenzie finishes a bag of chips. Nutrition at its finest.

12:30 We get home and I have to deal with the puppy. I take him out and then when I bring him back inside he pees on the carpet twice.

1:00 This is typically quiet time, but we can't get to the kids rooms. So we are all stuck together in the bedroom. Luckily the kids quietly watch Sofia the first, for the most part.

Ketcher is over this... and am I.

2:45 Time to get this crew outside. It has stopped raining finally so we set out. Ketcher is in the stroller, Kenzie is sulking 20 feet behind me, and somehow I am managing both dog leashes. We are going at a snails pace but I'm glad to be moving again.

4:30 Ketcher slept the whole walk. He seemed moody that he missed the sights but was happy to eat snacks and play with his sisters toys back in the room. Kenzie is freaking out because Ketcher is playing with his toys. The puppy has had water and is now napping in his crate.

5:00 Time to feed everyone.

6:00 Bath time. The kids are not happy to be in the tub without 50 lbs of toys floating along next to them. They decide to try and end bath time early by splashing water out of the tub and screaming. Jokes on them. I took my hearing aids out and now I'm sitting on the floor reading the latest Time magazine. When they get out, I make them clean the floor with towels.

6:30 I am dying to put the kids to bed but the floor guys are STILL here. Probably because they showed up an hour late. I am laying face down on the bed unable to deal any more. Kenzie is sitting on my back yelling "Giddy up!" and pulling on my ponytail. I have no energy to stop her. Ketcher is chilling on the pillows watching an episode of Sesame Street from 1971. Gordon has mutton chops and Oscar is orange. I don't think I will make it to 7.

6:40 Dan comes home and muster the energy to stay coherent for another 20 minutes.

7:00pm I don't care if the floor guys are here or not - they weren't -  I am done. I toss the kids into their bedrooms with waters and a goodnight hug and kiss. No books, stories or songs tonight. I run to the cupboard and pull out the biggest wine glass I have. It is no where near the size I need it to be.

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