Do you remember "Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy" on SNL? I do. Here are some of mine...Can we all agree the internet has ruined the phrases "you won't believe this" and "this will blow your mind"?
Sometimes after several sleepless nights I wake up slap happy. Either I am happy or I want to slap crap out of you.
Have you ever looked at a size 7 diaper? I could use it as a blanket.
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| Normal size, normal size, SUPER SIZE! |
I love my kids, but when I hear them wake up from their nap I want to scream "NOT YET!!!!!"
You don't know guilt until you become a parent. No one can make you feel guilty like yourself.
Can we call Frozen what it is... a movie about daddy issues?
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| "We both have low self esteem, can't you see that?" |
There is nothing in this world that makes me more furious than when my internet connection is down.
Facebook makes the world look like such a good place. If only we could all be the people we appear to be.
Remember Lik-m-aid? So gross... yet so good.
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| Who ate the stick? |
I have gotten so used to the constant noise of the house, it is almost deafening when there is silence.
Both kids sleep through the night. I feel like the master of the universe.
The moby is a long piece of fabric used for carrying your baby. Every time I want to use it, I have to rewatch the video to figure out HOW to use it.
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| She is looking down marveling at the fact that it only took 90 minutes to get it right. |
Sometimes I stand at the fridge with the doors open searching for a mystery food that I don't think exists.
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| That looks about right. |
Some weeks the only adult conversation I have is with my husband. So sad.
Can anyone stop at one glass of wine? My empty glass says no.
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| Who am I kidding... this is what I drink wine out of. |
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| Time for a refill |
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