10 weeks

Wow Mr. K is 10 weeks old already. Time flies when you spend every waking moment tending to other peoples needs.

You got it mom!

He really is a super easy baby. I guess he has to be in order to make it in this house. The world revolves around a toddler, even if you try not to let it.

He has been sleeping through the night for several weeks now, so at least I feel somewhat rested. He goes to bed around 7:30-8:30 and sleeps until 5:30-6:15. Naps are hit and miss. I try putting him to sleep before he gets over tired but sometimes I miss the window and he ends up a hysterical mess.

He has been smiling and giggling and making us laugh. This stage is the best! You can put them down and they can't follow you, they don't scream yet, and they absolutely love being cuddled.

I want to reach into this picture and squeeze him!

As for Miss K, she is giving us a run for our money as usual. I cut her hair the other day because she was growing a really horrible mullet.  Dan was furious at me, but it will grow back. I think the bob looks adorable and brings back her baby face.  

Hey the bob is the style of the summer... so that makes her trendier than me.

I think she is ready for potty training. Yesterday she brought me her diaper basket and lay down next to it for me to change her. If she can do that, she should be able to at least tell me when she needs to pee.

The big battles are over food. I try to just ignore and remove the meal if she spits food out, but it's hard not to react. I know we are in good company with everyone that has a toddler this age. I can't wait for this stage to be over in 5 years.

Don't let the innocent face fool you... she's cray cray!

As for me, I have found the perfect form of discipline for Kenzie. I can't always use it but when I do it is totally effective. I keep a very expensive breast pump on the living room floor. I don't put it away because I won't use it unless it's easy to get to. Anyway, yesterday she was sitting on the floor quietly playing with the parts and I crept up behind her and said "What are you doing?!" She jumped about a foot and ran out of the room. She knows she isn't allowed to touch the pump and I am pretty sure she won't touch it again... at least for now. I have to bite my tongue to keep from laughing so she knows I mean business. Luckily she doesn't scare easily and this doesn't make her cry for those of you trying to judge me right now.

I got a new vacuum and I am pretty sure my vacuum can kick your vacuums ass.  It's sad that I am super excited over it, but I really am. It's like a new toy.

In fact, I think I will go take it for a spin right now...

I know I need to make more time to write, even if it is just for my sanity. Currently I am busy catching up work that fell to the wayside while on maternity leave. Once I am caught up, I might be able to write something that doesn't involve vacuums.

I have also added some videos to the video tab for your viewing pleasure.

7 Things Every Dad with New Babies Should Know

Dear old daddy's life has changed greatly with our new addition.  (See my letter to him when I was pregnant. )

However, here are 7 things dads with new babies should know...

1. You are doing it wrong. What do I mean by "it"?  Everything.  You have your way and I have mine. Mine is right. Okay so I guess I will cut you some slack. The kids seem fine when left in your care... wait a minute... what's that red bump on the baby's head?  The door frame strikes again.

2.  If you say you are tired again, I am going to smash your elbows. Yes I am happy the baby is sleeping until 5:30am, but just because he is sleeping, doesn't mean I am. I wake up because the baby makes a noise, my boobs hurt, I am worried about SIDS, or I had a horrific nightmare about something happening to the kids. The last time I slept through the night was in February of 2012. You don't know tired buddy.

3. Oh no, you had a hard day at work!? Really? Oh did you get pooped on? Did you get peed on? Did someone scream so loud you went deaf in one ear? Did you have to fish things out of the toilet?  Did you get peed on again? Did you have to pull boogers out of someone's nose? Did you have to clean up dog vomit from the carpet? Did you have to change your shirt 3 times because it was soaked in spit up? Did you? Did you? I didn't think so. So shut it!

4. How about a little love for the baby? It's wonderful that you have put over a year and half worth of energy into one kid, but how about a little love for the newbie?  Hormones put me in lovin' overdrive, but how about just saying the words "I want to hold him for a while." He won't bite... yet.

5. Stop trying to get me to exercise. The weight will come off, I promise, so you can drop the act. Yes I am on to your plan. Thank you for buying me those new sneakers and workout shorts. Oh and thanks for bringing in my weights from the garage, even when I didn't ask for them. Sure, signing up for the daily burn with my email address was super awesome. Now, pass me the cheez-its and leave me the hell alone!

6. This ride isn't over yet. "...but you used to be cool about..." Yup I was. Even tempered, mild mannered, I-can-see-your-point-of-view wifey.  Well there is only one point of view in this house now, and it's mine! Muahahahah!  Hormones are going to keep on raging until breast feeding is done, so you might as well sit down and buckle up.

7. This is what you get. When you get home at 7pm I have been with the kids unassisted for 11 hours. I am exhausted, frustrated, and ready to toss the kids in bed and have a glass of Pinot Grigio. Dinner? If it's not in liquid form, I'm not interested. TV? I can't sit through the first 10 seconds without nodding off. Conversation? Let's face it, you really don't care what I did with my day, and I just don't have the energy to give you a play by play of the kids bodily functions, but if you really want to know see #3.

Lay off the Pinot mom... <hiccup>

What have I left out?  Post your comments here or on my facebook page.

Confessions of a work from home mom

It's that time again. Time to swallow a big dose of guilt, turn on Frozen for my toddler, and log back into work.

Working is the worst, isn't it? But the $6,000 worth of medical bills on my counter from Ketcher's birth need to get paid, right? <sigh>

Five confessions of a work from home mom.

Oh no, it's ringing. NOOOOOOOOO!

I am scared of the phone. I've become so reliant on email that the phone just seems like a nuisance. An email can be referenced again. When I have been awake since 5am with a baby, and get constant interruptions via my toddler, listening just isn't my strong suit any more. If you want me to get something done correctly, write it down. In the event that we do talk on the phone, I get nervous that surely you are going to hear the chaos that is my home office.  A crying baby, a singing toddler, dogs barking, a splash that was surely something being dropped in the toilet, and me just gritting my teeth because I can't interrupt a conference call with "Stop putting things in the damn toilet!!"

Sigh...

I would rather have office drama, than toddler drama. You never have office drama working from home. However, I get plenty of drama when tiny toddler fingers come creeping along the side of my computer just itching to touch those fancy keys. A firm "NO!" is then followed by wailing that a fire station could be proud of.  The wailing is soon followed by a small body flopping, like a fish out of water, on the carpet next to my feet. I panic. Is she having a seizure? Nope just being dramatic.

I don't appreciate the comparison.

I feel incredibly guilty, all the time. You don't need an office to feel guilty.  My babysitter is usually Sesame Street or if I need more than 50 minutes, Frozen or Tangled. I feel guilty for probably causing future learning disorders, because you aren't supposed to sit your kid in front of a TV until they are at least 2. Then when I am playing with my kid, and I hear the ding of my emails coming into my phone, I feel guilty that I am not taking care of business. I continually "should" on myself. I should be working. I should be engaging with the kids. I should be sitting on a beach somewhere sipping a margarita...

No guilt here!

I miss my work lunches and breaks.  There is zero time for myself working from home. Nap time = work. Bed time = work. Weekends = work. Working from home means being logged in whenever I get a spare moment, which is for 1 hour from 1-2pm or after 9pm at night. This can really take my bitchiness to a whole new level. So about that margarita...

At least I don't have to deal with crappy office equipment.

 

I wouldn't change it for anything. It's stressful, chaotic, and exhausting. I am on call as mom and worker 24/7. I spend all day with my kids, which makes me want to scream, but I get to see the baby do a push up on tummy time for the first time, I get to hear the toddler's new words "Oh cool!" and I get to wear my yoga pants all day.  What's not to love?

I love this little guy and his mastery of head holding!

Anyone have anything to add?  Please share it on facebook or in the comments below.

Deep Thoughts

Do you remember "Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy" on SNL? I do. Here are some of mine...

Can we all agree the internet has ruined the phrases "you won't believe this" and "this will blow your mind"?



Sometimes after several sleepless nights I wake up slap happy. Either I am happy or I want to slap crap out of you.

Have you ever looked at a size 7 diaper?  I could use it as a blanket.

Normal size, normal size, SUPER SIZE!

My mom super power:  hearing aids. Take them out and I only hear 50% of the screaming.

I love my kids, but when I hear them wake up from their nap I want to scream "NOT YET!!!!!"

You don't know guilt until you become a parent. No one can make you feel guilty like yourself.

Can we call Frozen what it is... a movie about daddy issues?

"We both have low self esteem, can't you see that?"

My daily playlist includes old school rap. I think it's important for my kids to appreciate all music.

There is nothing in this world that makes me more furious than when my internet connection is down.

Facebook makes the world look like such a good place. If only we could all be the people we appear to be.

Remember Lik-m-aid? So gross... yet so good.

Who ate the stick?

I have attempted to do these "Life Hacks": T-shirt folding, fitted sheet folding, faucet extension, and cutting grapes. I haven't been able to master any of these things. Is there a life hack for life hacks?

I have gotten so used to the constant noise of the house, it is almost deafening when there is silence.

Both kids sleep through the night. I feel like the master of the universe.

The moby is a long piece of fabric used for carrying your baby. Every time I want to use it, I have to rewatch the video to figure out HOW to use it. 

She is looking down marveling at the fact that it only took 90 minutes to get it right.

The dinner table is not centered under the chandelier.  It drives me crazy.

Sometimes I stand at the fridge with the doors open searching for a mystery food that I don't think exists.

That looks about right.

 Some weeks the only adult conversation I have is with my husband. So sad.

Can anyone stop at one glass of wine? My empty glass says no.

Who am I kidding... this is what I drink wine out of.

Time for a refill

Tips from the Trenches - Tackling Two under Two

She's a really happy girl now!

 

I have been getting a lot of emails requesting tips for dealing with a newborn and a toddler, so here are my survival tips for those first weeks.

Background:  When I brought the new baby home, Kenzie was 1 week away from 18 months old. Her language was slightly below average. She could say about 10 words, which made the whole situation a lot more difficult. Also she was getting in all 4 molars... or as I call it, the four horsemen of the apocalypse. 7 weeks later they have all broke through and the worst is behind us.

Disclaimer: Every toddler and baby has their own personality and every environment is different... so what worked for me may or may not be helpful to you. Hopefully you can find at least one good tip that works. 

Take care of YOU!

• You need some major positive energy in those first few days, because you are on an emotional roller coaster that is about to fly off it's tracks.
• Wake up every day and know that there are going to be horrible moments... but that's okay. Once you get this through your head it is easier to deal with your day. 
• Have an outlet. Have a friend you can talk to that is positive and supportive. Write in a journal. Start a blog. Do something so that you can get your feelings out.
• Find a time every morning to take a shower and get ready. I put on sesame street after breakfast and take a shower then. The baby is used to napping at this time so I can just lay him the crib and he falls asleep. In the early days he might watch the mobile, fuss, or just stare out the window for 10 minutes.
• Make a routine and stick to it most days. This is for you and your children. Everyone feels more confident when they know what's going to happen next. (For an example of a routine see mine below.)
• Make a playlist with YOUR music. Play it throughout the day.

Distracting your Toddler

You will need a plan to distract your toddler so you can feed, change, and tend to your newborn. The first weeks are tough because 90% of your time will be spent meeting the needs of your littlest. Have a few tricks in your arsenal.

I read online about how to distract your toddler and here are those tips: (that didn't work for me but might work for you)

• Read books. I tried this but my hands were never free enough to turn pages. Also, Kenzie would bring books over and try and drop them on the baby's head. 
• Coloring. Nope... she doesn't color yet. 
• Blocks. Not interested in blocks.
• Use a doll so your toddler can feel like she is taking care of someone. As much as I wish Kenzie would play with dolls, she just doesn't. I have seen her feed a bottle to her stuffed bear, but mostly this tip didn't work at all despite me giving her a mini crib, car seat, diaper bag, etc. She prefers to climb in the crib or take it apart.
• New toys. "Have a basket of special toys to be brought out only when you are nursing." There was no toy I could distract my toddler with. She just wanted my attention. That was it.

Here are the toddler distractions that worked for me:

• Play "where's the..." game. My daughter loves to point to stuff and have me say the words, or point out things that match words that I say to her. This game was wonderful because it distracted her enough to not get upset whenever I would start to feed the baby. 
• Make your toddler the ultimate helper. Really appear like you need their help. You need a diaper, you need your water bottle, you need something thrown away. Leave stuff out to have your toddler help with during feeding. Kenzie started throwing away the dirty diapers without being asked. It's great!
• Play the "what's that" game. If your toddler can say words, point to things in the room and ask them to name it. The floor, ceiling, lamp, pillow, couch, etc.
• TV. This is an obvious distraction and should be used as a last resort, but it sure helps when you need it. 

Creating Peace in your Toddler

Even if you don't have a baby in your arms your toddler is going to wonder what their place is in the family.  Here are a few other ways to make your toddler feel better about the situation.

They need to feel like they are needed.  I make Kenzie a vital part of every task I do during the day. When I wash bottles, she is right next to me scrubbing a plate. If I am folding laundry she is pulling clothes out of the dryer and handing them over. If I am feeding the dogs, she is filling the bowls up. She has her own broom and dust pan, and we use the popper as a fake vacuum.  When I make her PB&J sandwiches she gets a small butter knife and some bread to make her own (which gets fed to the birds). Always include them in the cooking, even if it is just pulling up a chair so they can watch.

Yes, there are some serious messes. Yesterday I left the soapy water in the sink while I nursed Ketcher. Kenzie was in the kitchen for a long time and I knew there was going to be mess.  Sure enough she came into the living room soaking wet. I said. "Kenzie are you wet?!" She said. "Happy!" So I laughed and when I finished feeding I went and got some towels to mop the floor. She had fun and got to run around in her diaper the rest of the day. What toddler doesn't love that?!

If your toddler makes a mess, have them clean it up. It's a good lesson to learn at an early age and it makes you more tolerant of messes. When Kenzie spills dog food on the floor while pouring it into the bowls she knows she has to pick up each kernel and put in back in the correct bowl.  After 2 spills she became an expert at pouring.

Make time to put on music and dance and play. Being silly puts everyone in a good mood. Make time to be silly with your toddler, you will both be in a better mood.  Play hide and seek, have a tickle fest, or just dance and run around.

Taming the Tantrums

There WILL be tantrums, so what can you do while the tantrum is happening?

The experts all say distraction. This doesn't always work all the time. In fact, Kenzie is so stubborn once she gets into a tantrum its hard to get her out of it. I have 3 options when she gets like this:

• Walk away. Sometimes just saying bye-bye and walking out of the room is best. If I feel like I might yell or say something shaming this is a good alternative. 
• Put her in her room. If I am REALLY about to lose my temper I will put her in her room to scream and cry. I usually give myself a minute or two to cool down and then go in her room and offer a hug. Always put down the baby first in a safe place.  They really don't want to see another child when they are emotionally out of control. 
• Sit down and wait it out. I do this most often. She throws herself down and starts screaming and crying. I sit down next to her and pat her back gently. Sometimes I say something like "you're frustrated, it's ok" and sometimes I say nothing. I usually try and figure out what caused her to go crazy... like is she hungry? Does she need a nap? Is it something totally irrational like I took off her shoes? Don't give in, if you know the cause and it isn't something like hunger or sleep.

Sample Daily Routine

(the baby is on a loose routine, I also excluded diaper changes because they are constant)

	Toddler	Baby	Me
6:00am		Feed & cuddle
7:00am	feed oatmeal	Put in crib to fall asleep	start laundry
7:30am	breakfast with daddy		feed dogs
7:45am	daddy leaves, ease pain with strawberries
8:00am	sesame street		breakfast & shower
9:00am		feed	pack up for outdoor time
9:30am	Outdoor time - stroller ride or playground
11:00am	PB&J		laundry
11:30am
12:00	sandbox or sidewalk chalk		daddy brings home lunch
12:30		feed
1:00pm	Nap	bathtime
1:30pm		nap
2:30pm	smoothie	feed
3:00pm	pending weather music & dancing or stroller
4:30pm	help mom clean house	feed & nap	feed dogs & clean house
5:00pm	help mom make dinner		make dinner
5:30pm	pasta & veggies
6:30pm	daddy home!	feed	eat dinner
7:00pm	bath	tummy time
7:30pm	Books & bed
8:00pm		feed & put to sleep
9:30pm			bed time or work

Week 6: Controlled Chaos

So things are “…getting better all the ti-i-ime…” – Beatles, if you didn’t recognize the reference.

Sorry for the lag in posts. Our internet has been on and off for about a week. It was down in the whole area yesterday so maybe they finally fixed it. .

Ketcher is cuddly and lovable!  He still smiles at the ceiling the for the most part, but there have a few social smiles here and there. 

"What? The ceiling is pretty sweet. Don't knock it till you try it!"

 His favorite activities are the swing and bath time… oh and eating of course. 

"Yes we just love bath time can't you tell by the looks on our faces?"

He is also finally falling into a manageable routine. He wakes and eats, 90 minutes or less later, I put him down to sleep. The only time of day he may not fall asleep, or stay asleep long, is early evening.  He is consistently asleep around 9pm and will sleep for 6 hours, until about 3am. If I am luckily he will sleep another 3 hours (until 6:30) but that is not very consistent yet.

Now that he is sort of predictable it makes life so much easier!!

Kenzie is in a language explosion right now. We hear at least 2 new words per day. Today (so far) is “ear” and “happy.”  She has mastered “up” and if I say “one” she says “two” and “three” (which sounds more like “fee”.)

"Did someone say explosion?"

 As for taming the ongoing toddler tantrums, I am half way through the book “Positive Discipline: The first three years” and the methods are working awesome! Here’s an example from yesterday:

                I made a PB&J for lunch but she wouldn’t eat it, because I cut it into tiny squares instead of feeding it to her. 

                I realized that even though I know what I want her to do, she may not know. So I said. “Kenzie it would make Mommy happy if you ate your sandwich.” 

                Kenzie said. “Happy.” 

                I repeated. “Yes, it would make mommy happy if you ate your sandwich.”

                She sat down and ate the whole thing.

That’s not the only example. She has also been hitting and kicking lately. Not in a malicious way but it is still irritating. So here is what happened yesterday:

                

               Kenzie walks over swinging her arms at my face.

                I grabbed her hand out of the air and touched my face with it. I said. “Gentle.”

                She smiled and walked away.

                A few minutes later she came back over, arm raised… then she put her hand on my face gently.

                Today she hasn’t swung her arms once but she has put her hands on our faces and patted lightly.  

How could this cheesy face be malicious?

She just needs some guidance I guess. I am trying to reroute the kicking today. She just loves to put her feet on everything… snack trays, me, Ketcher, expensive ipads, computers, phones, etc. So we are working on using our feet for dancing instead. We will see…

"I really don't mean to step on your expensive electronics... tee hee!"

I started working out again yesterday. I figured I would start light by doing the 30 day fitness challenges.  I started the ab and squat one yesterday and today I am adding planks and arms. This is probably my favorite activity of the day, because Kenzie tries to do the workouts with me. I will attempt to take some pictures of video this week.

In another two weeks we will begin our eating plan. Until then the only goal is cut out sugar, which is hard because I seriously NEED my 11am cherry coke. Maybe I will start cutting that out tomorrow... or next week.

"Low sugar, low carb, diet sounds awesome... said no one, ever."