A Mom's Guide to Losing the Baby Weight

Need to lose the rest of that baby weight?  Me too. So let's do it together, before the holidays and the new years resolutions, that by March, have been long forgotten.

Here's my 10 steps to get back in shape after baby.

Step 1: Go to target and buy some new workout gear.
What better way to get back in shape than to buy new gear? I know you still have the workout gear from the last time you "started" to work out... but this time... this time you will follow through. Buy black so you already feel skinnier as soon as you put it on.

These hot pink skorts will NOT be flattering. Steer clear!

 Step 2: When you get up in the morning put on new workout gear.
Let's face it, if you don't have time for a workout, then taking time out to change your clothes doesn't fit in your schedule either. Put on workout shoes as well. Tie hair back in the exact same ponytail you wear every day. 

Step 3: Use a workout that works for you.
Not every workout is created equally for every body. You need to know what works for you. Some people thrive off cardio, some love yoga and pilates. Do what you love to do and do it often. I love weights... anything that makes me feel like I have been beaten up for 2 days, after I work, out is a win in my book. 

Step 4: Do your workout first thing in the morning... or at least at your first morning break.
There are a slim few of us that can tolerate anything after work, most of all a workout. So get up early and do it. You don't need a gym to work out. A fitness magazine and some free weights do the trick or use daily burn, sparkpeople, or a zillion other resources found for free online. Do it before the kids are up, or do it with the kids... whatever, just get it done.

Step 5: Have your healthy menu for the week already planned out.
80% of how your body looks is what you eat, so no more leftover mac and cheese, grilled cheese, cheese sticks... or the other cheesey variations of food you feed your toddler.  Stick to high veggie, high protein diets with whole grains and low dairy. Have to have something sweet after your meals? Stick to fruit. No more soda. Eek! I love cherry coke. <Sigh> Eat small meals often and never let yourself get hungry... ever!

 Step 6: Eat by the clock.
Eat just like your baby does... every 3 hours.  7am, 10am, 1pm, 4pm, & 7pm.  If you eat that much I guarantee your metabolism will be running on high all day and you won't end up at the pantry scrounging for that one mystery food that will fill your bottomless hunger.

Yup there it is... in between the Cinnamon Toast Crunch and the Ramon Noodles

Step 7: Water. Drink it.
This is just a simple step that is easy to overlook. Already drink water? Drink more of it. Non-water drinks have calories and they add up... fast! So put down that glass of wine and guzzle some water. Once you reach your proper weight you can add that nightly drink back to the menu.

Step 8: Pack your lunch just like your kids.
This is no joke. If you eat out, you are eating crap. Even the salad that you get at lunch has extra cheese, croutons, and dressing. What's that? Oh you get it without cheese and dressing on the side? Well guess what? That dressing has extra fat and calories compared to the kind you buy and measure out at home. Extra points for making your own dressing! Yes this will require a little more planning and work on your part, but it is a new project and for once that project is you.

This photo makes it look so easy right?

Step 9:  Don't get stale.
Don't get complacent. It is super easy to master that workout dvd and then keep doing it without pain. So once you can get through your workouts without breaks or pain, step it up, mix it up, and keep challenging yourself.  Just think if you make it that far you get to make ANOTHER trip to target for a new dvd, bigger weights, more workout clothes, and probably a new water bottle that you definitely don't need but surely deserve.

Step 10: Blog about it.
Put yourself in a position so that when all your friends ask you about your weight loss efforts you don't have to shrug and go stuff your mouth full of mexican burrito to suppress your guilt. You can stand proud and show off your guns.

I bet you looked down at your keyboard just a minute ago, didn't you? 

 My goal right now is simply to get back to where I started before my two babies. I have much loftier goals after I achieve this, so let the journey (i.e. pain) begin!!!

... and for those of you thinking yeah, yeah, get off your high and mighty workout horse: I have been sitting in my new workout gear since 7am and it is now 2:03pm and I haven't worked out and I am about to eat some ramon noodles. So yes, I wrote this post in the hopes that I will get my ass in gear.

Ugh... I hate myself right now.

**Update since that last paragraph, I did actually do my workout finally at 4:50pm. Day 1 finished!

Have ideas, tips, or some inspiration? Are you eating ramon noodles right now too? Please share your comments and ideas with me. I need as much motivation as I can get! Let me know by commenting below or on facebook.

Two. It's final.

Two. It seems so final, as if we didn't give ourselves enough time to really ponder it. I am sure that's why Dan scheduled his vasectomy so quickly after our second. So we wouldn't have time to change our mind.

9/11/2014 = V-day

I have chosen not to think about it. When I start to let my thoughts drift over the finality of it, I shut them down.

At least I don't have to worry about 9 months of back pain any more. No more first trimester nausea and headaches. No more heartburn inspired insomnia. No more fatigue so strong when I bend to tie my shoe I fall into a coma. No more worrying about kick counts and movements. No more restricting my eating habits or skipping that glass of wine. No more guilt over that raw cookie dough I end up eating while pregnant, even though it says on the package NOT to consume while pregnant.

No more labor. No more epidural shots. No more contraction pains. No more hospital stays. No more nurses giving me bruises on my still pregnant looking belly.

No more inconsolable crying, no more witching hours, no more breast feeding pain, no more worry over development. No more endless sleepless nights. No more worrying about SIDS.  No more hormonal roller coaster.

That's what I tell myself, when my mind drifts. When I look at my almost 4 month old, and wish I had 10 more.

No more pregnancies. No more thrill of seeing those two pink lines. No more keeping a first trimester secret. No more dreaming of what our life will be like with another child. No more kicks and hiccups that no one else can feel. No more wondering what our baby will look like. No more discussion about names. No more bump.

No more excitement at the hospital. No more sneaking a snack after the epidural. No more first time seeing our baby. No more holding baby after the lights are dimmed and everyone is gone home. No more first bonding between Mama and Baby.

No more first smiles. No more first giggles. No more soft fuzzy hair to nuzzle. No more soft newborn skin to touch. No more first coos. No more teensy newborn diapers.

Two is all we wanted, and all we need. I am so grateful for what we have.

No more thinking about it. No more wondering. It's over.

Two. It's final.

9-12-14 Day after V-day

Ding!  My text goes off again. It's Dan and he needs something to eat. I still need to feed the baby and toddler so he can wait.

Ding!  I really need to change my text ring. I am not even going to look at the phone.

Ding!   Now he needs water. <Sigh> I can do that...

Ding!  I know he's hungry but I have to put the diapers back on the dogs before they are allowed upstairs.

Ding! Fine. I will just run this up to him and then take care of the kids. Oh shoot... Kenzie saw me leave and now she is wailing. "I'll be right back!" I yell down as I race upstairs and throw a box of graham crackers at Dan. He gives me a dirty look like I was aiming... whatever.

Ding! He wants the cinnamon graham crackers, not the honey ones. ARGH!

9-14-14 3 days later...

Oh for the love of... this car seat is so damn heavy!!!  Ketcher is a chubster and his weight combined with this car seat has to be 40 lbs. Just... a... little.... higher... phew. Ok it's in the truck. Gah! I hate this truck.

Time to hoist Kenzie into the back seat and buckle her in. Why the hell did Dan make the car seat in the middle of the backseat is beyond me. I can't reach and I have to climb in to buckle her up. Grrr...


Dan has to take it easy for a week. Lucky him... and just when our house is in need of groceries and dog food...

9-18-14 1 week later

Dan: "So we can try for another kid in the next 2 months the doctor said."

Me: "Nope. I'm done."

Nailed it!

I have taken a short hiatus from writing. Partly because I have endless work that I can't seem to catch up on, and partly because I have nothing to write about. Lately I feel like I have nailing this parenting thing!

Now, I am not naïve enough to believe that this will last. It is the calm before the storm. However I definitely have managing two down to a science.

Mornings have never been better. Both kids sleep until 7am. I am still sleeping in the baby's room so when 7am hits, I just open both kids doors and Miss K climbs in my bed. After she accidentally slides off the slippery comforter onto the floor, every morning, without fail, the children and I spend the first half hour of the day reading books and snuggling. Nailed it!

Tackling a rainy day. Weather is cold and rainy... or I just don't feel like putting on jeans... time to make a plan to burn off that toddler energy. Miss K is getting some good use out her tricycle going around, and around, and around the circle in our house. Kitchen, dining room, living, over and over and over.  She rarely screams when she gets stuck any more and can back up and straighten herself out. Nailed it!

Building a slide out of pvc pipe toys (omagles). Yes at first I built it about 2 feet too high, with no railing, and so steep you have to top rope it. A few hours and some calloused hands later, it was finished and in the processes Miss K learned the color red and color blue. Nailed it!

What could be dangerous about this?

Naps. Miss K just can't wind down to take a nap. There is just too much fun to be had. However, I can't afford to not have her take a nap. Literally. I need to work during that time. So one day Dan was home and decided to take an alternative approach, as Dad's sometimes do. He put the baby's car seat on her bed on the floor, she climbed in and slept for 90 minutes. She has been napping like this for the past week and hasn't skipped a day yet. Nailed it!

Monitoring the sibling interaction. We are just now at the cusp of Miss K noticing there is another member of the family. He gets toys too. Instead of taking ALL of the baby's toys, she has started giving him toys or swapping toys with him. Every now and again I remind her to be gentle, or to give back a toy she stole, or to not use his left over bottles to feed her stuffed sesame street characters, which end up sticky and smelling like spoiled milk.  Nailed it!

This ball is great, but I prefer the slide. Please and thank you.

Dinner time: what a shit show this can be. I try to make sure the baby is fed and possibly down for a nap while I simultaneously feed Miss K and (if I am feeling generous) make dinner for Dan and I. The key is to strip down the toddler to her diaper and let her self feed. There will be food everywhere, but at least the dogs get a nice treat while the kids take a bath.  Nailed it!

Baby - toddler baths. Singing toddler songs and getting the baby cleaned as fast as possible is imperative. There is only a matter of moments before the splashing and kicking starts. We usually make it through about 3 songs. Baby is out and dressed and then we tackle the toddler, fast enough so the baby doesn't start to get fussy. 10 minutes tops! Nailed it!

Date night. We finally had a date night and it was glorious. The best part was when I saw the winning smile from my husband that said:  Yup, she's still there. I haven't lost the girl the married. (that was right after I suggested going home and getting the yeti costume to scare people driving home.) Nailed it!

Grocery shopping just me and kids. Baby in the ergo carrier, toddler in the cart. Got out of the store without a single extra item that wasn't on the list. No tantrums, no crying. Nailed it!

Backing the huge truck into the tiny parking space next to the garage (because our truck won't actually fit in the garage). Backing up  as close to the fence as possible so our other car can fit into the apron of the driveway. Nailed it! - literally. Poor fence.