5 Items on your Baby Bucket List

There are so many things to do before you have kids and there are so many lists posted out there about it.  My next blog post is about the ludicrous things some of these lists tell you to do before having kids, but meanwhile here are my top 5 things to appreciate and do more of before having kids.

1. Sleep in now. I am not really one for sleeping in, but now that I can't, I really wish I had.

2. Take long baths or showers. After baby, those showers literally become cardio sprints. You absolutely WILL hear a baby crying as soon as you enter the shower, even if there isn't one.  If your child is old enough to be awake, you feel guilty or worried that something will happen like finding a way up the stairs even though it's gated off.

3. Eat. Yup, simple as that. After baby you will be so busy you won't think about eating. Once your bundle of joy grows up and starts eating real food, 95% of your meals will be toddler leftovers.  Crusty mac n cheese that has been sitting out for an hour... mmm.

4. Watch some movies. Yes you plan on renting a lot of movies, and your spouse will probably be the only one that makes it all the way through. 15 minutes into the movie you will be asleep. Every. Time. Thinking about going to the movies?  Let's be real: Price of 2 movie tickets $16.50 x 2 = $33 + $10 for popcorn and soda (hey you deserve it, see #3) + baby sitter for 3 hours $30 = That's $73 to see a movie that you will fall asleep during. Go see a movie now before you have to take out a second mortgage to do it!

5. Spend some quality time with your friends. I have, sort of, addressed this in my baby shower gifts post. Let's look at it a little further:

Who are we kidding... there will be
no ironing ever again.

• 0-3 months the recluse stage - You physically can't socialize. You are exhausted, leaking, and hormonal. There is no way you will be able to engage in meaningful conversation.
• 4-9 months the schedule stage - Baby takes 3 naps per day, ranging 1-3 hours per nap. You only have about a 2 hour awake window before they go down again, and you have to fit in feedings, tummy time, and countless diaper changes. That leaves 15 minutes. You have 15 minutes to socialize.
•  9-12 months the mobile stage - They are down to 2 naps per day but when they are awake you're just trying to keep them away from cords, plugs, stairs, plants, dogs, and all that other stuff you didn't think was dangerous. Plus you have to feed them twice as much, which is twice as messy. The biggest annoyance is the amount of stuff you have to lug with you. It would appear you are going on a 2 week vacation, when in fact you are spending the afternoon with a friend.
• 1-2 years the trying-not-to-let-my-kid-kill-themselves stage - You are finally down to one nap and you think you can socialize. However, your toddler is now walking/running, climbing, eating items as if they have Pica disorder, and generally putting their life in danger on a daily basis.  Good luck being social.

Not to worry future parents, I have heard you can do all of these things again someday. Maybe in 2 years, or 5 years... definitely after they move out.

Have something to add? Please leave it in the comments, some future Mom will thank you!

The songs that got me through it.

As anyone who has lived with us knows, music is a major part of our lives. We have it on all the time and we own a crazy amount of instruments. Our playlists will probably always tell the story of our lives.

Most importantly, music gets us through the rough times.

I can flip through my playlists and remember exactly how I was feeling at that time just by the mood of the music.

2004:  Soundtrack of my life:  Bring on the Rain - Jo Dee Messina, Build me up - Foundations, Don't Stop till you get Enough - Michael Jackson  - Money was tight and things were rough. Dan just started dental school, we moved from Michigan to Florida, and it was the first time I was truly on my own, with a fiancé to support. I needed motivation and happiness. Dan's sister Claire lived with us and she was struggling too. Our ultimate dance party nights will always be something that makes me smile. Also this memory: Sitting inside listening to music while Dan put up the hurricane shutters in a complete torrential down pour.  We looked at him and thought... oh shit... he is going to be so pissed. But he looked back at us and just started laughing.

2008:  Soundtrack of my life: Life in a Northern town - Sugarland, Bittersweet Symphony - The Verve, Rocky Mountain High - John Denver - Dan was graduating from dental school and we were making a move to the state of Maine. He found a great job, we put a purchase agreement on a house, and we were set to move out. 2 weeks before the move we found out he couldn't get his Maine dental license. He decided to try Colorado so he left for 2 weeks on a quest to find a job and a house. I stayed in Florida for work. He came back with a job and rental house so we packed up our 2 cars, 5 dogs and a small U-Haul, sold the rest of our stuff and drove for 3 days to Colorado.



2011:  Soundtrack of my life:  How to Save a Life - The Fray, My Immortal - Evanescence, Tears in
Heaven - Eric Clapton -  I was pregnant for the first time. I went to my first ultrasound 7 1/2 weeks and there was no heartbeat. I was devastated. Not only was I now sure that I wanted a baby more than anything, I didn't know if I could have one at all.



2012:  Soundtrack of my life:  Girl on Fire - Alicia Keys, Home Sweet Home - Motley Crue, I Will Wait - Mumford & Sons - At about 5 months pregnant with Kenzie our world was literally on fire. The waldo canyon fire that destroyed 346 homes was raging across the street. As we were evacuating with car loads of dogs, documents, and clothes, the grass was on fire along the streets. In my mind, it was the last time we were going to see our house. We were evacuated for a week, and it was hell for us and whoever we stayed with because we were also hauling around our 5 big dogs. If that wasn't stressful enough our house was under contract at the time so we could buy our house in the mountains near Dan's new job. The beacon of hope was my ultrasound during that time that confirmed we were having a baby girl. Her theme song was instantly Girl on Fire.

2014: Soundtrack of my life:  Happy from Despicable Me, Let It Go from Frozen, People in my Neighborhood from Sesame Streets Greatest Hits - Now that I share my life with my toddler it's no longer MY soundtrack it's ours. I try to keep it all happy, so there are a lot of great oldies mixed in like Mr Sandman - Chordettes, Rockin' Robin - Bobby Day, Dancing in the Moonlight - Van Morrison. I know she will have an appreciation for music just like we do, and I hope it helps get her through the rough parts of life too.

She needs some hair to go with that tutu.

A lesson on parenting from a sick child

 

This is not my kid, but she
definitely gets this look

How can that much snot come out of one tiny child? Seriously? How was she able to breathe before I whipped out the nose frieda?

She got sick about a week ago from Dan. Yes, whenever she gets sick I hold a grudge against whoever made her sick because it is HELL on me.

It's just a cold this time but she is so congested, it sounds like she can't breathe. Whenever she eats she has to stop to gasp for air.

When I try suctioning her nose it's literally a wrestling match. I have to hold her arms and hands down or else she pulls the suction out, meanwhile I am dodging her aggressive kicks to my belly. She has amazing head control and can somehow spin her entire body around just using her head. Gold medal Olympic moves.

It's terrible. She cries so loud, but it needs to be done. When it's finished we hug until her hiccupping cries stop, I wipe her eyes, and all is forgiven. She can breathe again, and my guilt subsides. Guilt over making her cry like that, and guilt for the poor baby she ends up kicking when I didn't dodge quick enough.

Dan came home last night after an entire day of on and off battles with the suction. I figured she would run to Daddy with a SAVE ME look in her eyes. The opposite actually happened. She wanted nothing to do with him. She climbed on my lap during reading time. He asked for a goodnight kiss and she leaned her face toward me. She burst into tears when I left the room to get her water.

Today we are having the same battles, but my guilt has subsided. I know she appreciates what I am doing, even though she hates it with every fiber of her being. I guess that is the ongoing battle of being a parent. Lesson learned.

7 Sleep Habits of a Semi-Effective Mother

Why is it so bright in here... it's supposed to be 2:30 am!

Sleeping: We all need more of it.

The only person I know that gets too much sleep, is Dan. Seriously, he started complaining that he was waking up at 4am for an hour or two.  I suggested going to bed at 9:30 instead of 8:30?  Solved the issue. Too much sleep... until I went back to smothering him at 4am with my pillow. Ha ha, just kidding... or am I?




I had sleep issues before dogs, pregnancies, and kids. I have a tried and true system in place to help some common issues.

Can't fall asleep:

1. At least one hour before bed, no phones, no ipads, no TV. Sure there is science behind it, but really if you don't stop now playing candy crush, you might just make it to the next level and then you can't stop. Don't check your facebook, twitter, instagram, or other social media right before bed. Something is going to set you off.  Either it's a photo someone posted that made you angry, or the political rant the hypocrite of the group decided to go off on (Tip: stop following that guy!), it's always something. Turn off the TV, there are much better things to do before bed.

2. Brain dump. I will lay in bed for hours thinking about my to do list, also replaying certain events in my head, or getting totally fired up again over that work email, that I am sure was directed at me. So I started a brain dump. I keep a journal next my bed and when I need to, I write down everything that pops into my head: events, rants, prayers, everything. I have actually been doing this for years and have a log of everything from the first twinge of wanting a baby, through pregnancy, the newborn months with multiple daily entries, and all of the milestones from the last year.  Someday it will be an amazing journal for Kenzie to read. If you start to do this, I recommend ending on a good note. I always say thank you for everything I am grateful for, and when I put the journal down, and shut off the light, that is what I concentrate on when I fall asleep.

3. Read a book, do a crossword, Sudoku, or something without extra light. I love reading so I have to read sparingly. I could get sucked into a book, even a nonfiction, and end up reading hours after I should be sleeping. So, I bought a Sudoku book at the grocery store and I work on a puzzle before bed. Not an extreme or hard one, because I would probably end up working on that until completion... just a medium one. The main thing is to not have extra light, like from a kindle fire or the other ones with back lighting. You could also read a very boring book. Dan reads the classics before bed. Hence the 8:30 bedtime.

I wake up in the middle of the night and can't fall back asleep:

4. First do all the normal things, like use the bathroom and get a drink of water. Now when you lay back down try and meditate. Just clear your mind of every thought. Do not think. It's hard... but it's the only way you will get yourself back to sleep. Most of all DO NOT LOOK AT YOUR PHONE. That light will wake you up even more.

5. It helps to know that this is perfectly natural. Back before electricity people would go to sleep with the sunset. There would be a wake time in the middle of the night, I will let you guess how they filled that time. That's probably one reason why everyone had an abundance of kids.

6. Adult sleep cycles are 90 minutes long. Sometimes it helps to have an end point. This is especially true with babies, whose sleep and wake cycles are only 45 minutes long. When I wanted so desperately to fall asleep but she was awake, I would count down the minutes, and sure enough, back asleep. If you have just woken up and looked at the clock, this tip doesn't work, but if you have been up for a while just know, it won't last.

I wake up super early and can't fall back asleep:

7. I haven't solved this one yet. I usually try and get things done when this happens. Like if I wake up at 6am and know Kenzie won't be up until 7am, I take a shower, or check my facebook, maybe write a blog post. Instead of getting upset about it, I just try and make the best of an hour or two of quiet alone time.

Of course there are tons of Rx and over the counter medications you can take. These are helpful tips for those of us pregnant, or breast feeding, that can't medicate with a proper glass of bedtime wine.

What's in a name?

long hours and hard work!

We are playing the name game again with baby #2. When I think we've settled on a name my husband comes home with 3 more to consider.

With Kenzie it was pretty easy. Consulting my pregnancy journal with her, confirms that we had her named before the gender ultrasound. If we were having another girl, we already had another name picked out.

Boys are tough. Not for everyone, but for some reason we just can't pick. We want something unique but not too unique. The first thing I do when Dan tells me a name, is to picture it on a resume. I have done HR for multiple companies and a first impression starts with a name.

One of our agreements to having kids was that Dan gets to pick the name. However, I have full veto rights. His middle name will be James, after Dan's father.

What's in a name? A lot of hard work and hours spent looking up meanings. Here are a handful of names that were ultimately vetoed: (and the images that pop into my mind when I hear that name)

Henry - this is a great name, but it certainly doesn't have the uniqueness I wanted.  It is still in the distant running, but only if the baby comes out with a crown and scepter.







Quigley -  seriously I am not joking.  I laughed when he said it, because I thought he was joking. He wasn't. I promptly vetoed it. I don't know who this guy is... but it seemed fitting.









Finch - I can't picture anyone other than David Spade in Just Shoot Me. When I think of Finch I think of junior high swirlies. Not gonna happen!

Fitz - I don't know why, but every 3rd name or so, he tries pulling out Fitz. He has tried Fitzgerald, Fitzpatrick, and Honeyfitz. Honeyfitz?  Really? This poor boy wouldn't stand a chance unless he was wearing a top hat and monocle.

Kilian - This one is still in the running, but I picture a dark haired, brown eyed boy. If he looks even a fraction like Kenzie, this name won't work. She has blond hair and blue eyes and is alabaster white. Plus it is a little more unique than I wanted to go. If the boy comes out with any facial hair this will be his name.

 

Cullen - I do like the name, but 98% of my female peer group, and younger, would think we were naming him after the twilight vampire family. It's actually an Irish name and it's one of the better ones he picked out. Maybe we will still use this one if he is born with hazel eyes and fangs.



If you are reading this to see what names we have picked out, sorry to disappoint! I am saving our top 2 names at the moment. One is pretty much set in stone. The other is saved in the event that he comes out with red hair. Red runs in both of our families, so it's possible. We figure we should go with a good Irish name if that happens. Hint: it's not O'doyle.

Our Journey from Childfree to Parents

My husband, Dan, and I have been together 13 years as of next week. We started dating in 2001, we got engaged in 2002, married in 2006, first kid in 2012. It's amazing to look back at who we used to be and who we are now. The most interesting part is that neither of us wanted kids.



Circa 2005

An example of how we both changed:

In 2001, Dan he said he would only run if someone was chasing him. In 2010, he completed the Leadville 100. A 100 mile race that takes about 30 hours to complete.

In 2001, I was only 20 years old and had never lived anywhere other than my hometown of Flushing, MI. Now I have lived in 3 states, 8 cities, and moved across the country twice.


The real game changer...

When we moved to Colorado in 2008, things really started to change for me. The pace was slower. I was no longer working 60 hours a week and literally my blood pressure was back to a normal level. (When I was 25 I was diagnosed with high blood pressure, and as time would prove... it was due to stress.) I started thinking about a family.

In 2010, I finally spilled the beans. I knew I was changing the game, so if he said "no way", then that was that. I wanted to be with Dan, more than have kids. I remember our conversation exactly. We were in the Orlando airport coming home from a dental convention. For the sake of simplicity, here is the short version...
     He said. "We are actually in a position to have kids, if that's what we wanted." 
     It's now or never...
     So I said. "Yeah, so we should give it a try."

Wedding Pic

     "Uh, what?" He said.
     Then I came out with it. "I think I want to have a kid."
     Silence.

It was scary sitting there, people watching, waiting for him to answer. My nervous half-smirk sitting on my face. He finally turned to me and said.  "I don't want you to regret anything so if that's what you want, then ok."

We did a lot of talking first and I did a lot of research. I wanted to make sure this was really what I wanted and not just what I thought I should be doing. It all came down to no regrets. I didn't want to miss out on this monumental life changing experience.

So we gave it a try, in the only way I know how to try anything: Very calculated and planned. If we were going to do this I was going to be in control of it. Charts, temperatures, the whole 9 yards. I am not one to let fate make my decisions. Either this was going to work within my time frame, and if it didn't, then we would know. I could move on with life and we would be the childfree couple that travels and has nice things.



1 week before Kenzie
was born

Obviously we have traded in the dream of travel and nice things, for couches with milk stains, carpets with mashed fruit snacks, and travel to neighborhood parks. We wouldn't change it for anything.
Who we were before Kenzie and who we are now are fundamentally different, although no one would probably be able to tell. An example would be this St. Patty's Day. St. Patty's is the day Dan got out of the army 15 years ago, it's also the day that set us up to start dating. It has always been an epic celebration for us. 8am green beers, Guinness, Irish whiskey, live music and all the corned beef and cabbage you can handle. This year Dan took the day off and we spent it hanging out with Kenzie. Singing her Irish songs and playing Irish music. We went out to lunch and stayed in for dinner. He had 1 beer... and it wasn't even green. 

The Newborn Stage - Good vs. Evil

Just a few days old, that sleeping smile actually says -
you have no idea what you're in for muahahhaha

I am gearing up for the newborn stage. It will take me at least 8 weeks to psych myself up for those first few weeks. I am glad I kept a journal during Kenzie's newborn stage, because believe it or not... you totally black those weeks out.

That's why people tell you having a baby is great... they forgot the first few months.

With every bad, there is an equal and probably greater good.

The BAD:  He pooped out of his diaper and it got all over his clothes, crib sheets, and you... in the middle of the night. The worst part: you didn't realize it was on you until morning.
The GOOD:  It's morning and even though you got 1 hour of choppy sleep last night, you can't wait to hold him in your poop covered arms.


Falling in love...

The GOOD:  She slept for 5 straight hours last night!
The BAD:  I was up checking on her every 15 mins because I was worried about SIDS.

The BAD: This first time your husband does something like the following: accidentally hits her head on the door frame, tries throwing/bouncing the baby, or tries "burping" her which looks more like he is performing the baby Heimlich maneuver.
The GOOD:  When you get to witness the growing love in his eyes whenever he looks at his baby and it makes you tear up.

A few weeks old enjoying
tummy time on the boppy... finally!

The BAD: He cries the entire 15 minutes of tummy time, every time.
The GOOD:  The first time he holds his head up during tummy time!

The BAD:  He sleeps all day and stays up all night.
The GOOD:  When he sleeps too long during the day you miss him. That's love!



The BAD:  The witching hour... which we all wish was just 1 hour long.
The GOOD: When they finally fall asleep it will be the longest stretch of the night.

The GOOD:  She smiled at me awake! 
The BAD:  Nothing... this trumps everything that you have been through thus far.

The days are long, but the months are so short, and that first year is even shorter. They are only a baby for 1 year and once they get those arms working, they might not even want your cuddles, long before they turn 1. So embrace the rocking, hugs, kisses, quiet cries... because those cries are sure to be longer, louder and a lot more demanding when they are toddlers.

Useful Baby Shower Gifts

Baby showers... you either dread them, or get excited about picking out tiny outfits the newborn is sure to wear only once, if that. I received so many great gifts, so I am not complaining. However, there was so much that didn't get used or was only worn once.

From now on I recommend getting these future moms some real presents that they don't even have a clue they will need. Here are my top 5 recommendations:

1. Cover-up, bronzer, foundation, oh my! I only used lipstick and eye makeup before having kids. Now I need to cover those dark circles under my eyes, bronze up the pasty winter-white skin on my face, and slap a layer of foundation over everything to cover up all those other spots I can't seem to scrub away.

2. Take out menus. This gift can be given to the husband who will inevitably ask "What's for dinner?" while new-mom is totally sleep deprived and probably hasn't eaten in 2 days. If she's nice, she may grit her teeth and say "Whatever you are making." If she isn't, this sentence will probably lead to divorce. So for a lasting marriage... take out menus.

3. Disposable kitchenware. I am talking about paper cups, plates, forks, spoons, and knives. Even if you have a dish washer, loading and unloading requires work. Not to mention the scatter brain of a new parent might end in disastrous results.  After I had Kenzie, I was going to wash up some bottles and pump items. I turned on the hot water, plugged the sink, walked away to grab something... and 3 hours later Dan came home and yelled "WHAT THE HELL!", the sink was still going and had flooded... (THANKFULLY!!!) into the other side of the sink. There was no hot water for the rest of the day. This could have ended with a flooded kitchen and ruined hardwood floors. Lesson learned: after baby, no dishes.

4. Yoga pants and a big pack of V-neck T-shirts. The uniform of a new mom. No the yoga pants aren't for working out! How dare you?! They are comfy and not as gross as sweat pants with paint on them. The T-shirts are for easy feeding access for the new baby, and big enough to forget that with the birth of the baby, all the weight didn't miraculously come off too. It takes at least as long as you carried that kid for it to come off. No one tells you that. Your welcome.

5. A break. I am not talking about watching the new baby, although that might be helpful, I am talking about giving the new parent some slack. Text messages won't get returned, phone calls will go unanswered, and emails will probably be returned with an "inbox is full" message. It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with sleep deprivation, hormones, and tending to a little person that can't do a thing for himself. It took me, on average, 2 weeks to return a message of any sort. Your friend will be back to her old self in a few months, so hang in there and don't take it personally.

Have something to add?  Please add it to the comments below!

My Moment of Silence

A rare moment of silence, alone. Dan took Kenzie for a hike. I am sitting on the couch and the house is quiet. Too quiet. The silence is crushing but I don't want to break it by turning on the radio or TV.

What to do with this moment?

Laundry. I need to change the loads, but I can do that when they get back.

Eat something forbidden! Ice cream fits the bill. I can't eat that with Kenzie hovering at my feet wanting to eat what I eat. No, I am still full from lunch.

Take a nap. Yes! That's exactly what this pregnant body needs. I just need to take my contacts out first, I hate it when they stick to my eyes when I wake up. Also, I did put on shoes today, which I really don't want to take off, then have to put back on. In this stage of pregnancy shoes are my mortal enemy. I really want to take a nap but it seems like a hassle.

Read a book. That's it, I will read one of the 8,000 books I have downloaded, and partially started, on my kindle. Now I just need to find it... the last time I used it was at 3am when Kenzie was a newborn. Maybe I will find it later and use it next time.

Organize the new baby's room. I think I already established that anything requiring movement isn't going to happen.

I guess I will just sit here and wait for them to come home. Why is it taking so long? They have never gone on a hike this long before...

I hear the door. Kenzie is crying because they stopped moving. Dan is calling for help to unharness her from the backpack. Why are all the dogs stuffed in to the hallway? There is no room for this!

Geez they are loud!  Why can't I get a quiet moment to myself?!

Live in the moment before it's too late!

August 2013 - 8 months

I glanced at Kenzie today as we were playing on the floor and I realized that she is changing. The sweet chubby cheeks are gone, her half moon eyes are full of expression, and her gummy smile is now a toothy grin. How long has she looked like a toddler, instead of a baby?  I am with her every day, all day. How did I not notice? What else have I not noticed?

March 2013 - 15 months

Her laugh is starting to change, her run isn't as wobbly, and one of her favorite activities is to pick up heavy things and move them from one side of the room to the other. The heavy objects of choice are full Nalgene bottles, step stools, and any item weighing more than she does.

When we watched Sesame Street, she did the same dances as the children on the show, when they make a "g" sound she did too, and when the Count appeared she immediately started to do his laugh: "Ah... Ah... Ah..."

It was startling to realize how quickly she changed. It won't be long before I look over and see a child with a full head of hair, a full set of teeth, and an independent personality.

I worry that after baby #2 gets here, I will notice even less. The busy day-to-day minutia creates a thick fog. Cleaning, picking up toys, working, picking up toys, cooking, picking up toys, bathing... it's hard to remember to stop and live in the moment.

I am putting a reminder in my phone now, so when it goes off, I can stop what I am doing and just enjoy her and whatever the moment holds.

Pregnancy 1 vs. Pregnancy 2

Pregnant again? Congratulations! Thinking about getting pregnant again? Here is what you are in for...  5 of the major differences between my first and second pregnancy.

You don't have time to think about being sick. The first pregnancy I was so obsessed with every little feeling, because I had time to obsess. When you are chasing a toddler or tending to another child you don't have time to dwell on how you feel.  The 1st trimester nausea will be there lingering in the background... but you have diapers to change and toddlers to force feed.

 

You appreciate what your body can do, instead of being scared of it. I was scared the first time I was pregnant. I was scared of stretch marks, extra pregnancy pounds, aches and pains, that when googled... always say something about "preterm birth, call your doctor NOW". Now I know my body will do its thing, and go back to normal when it's ready. Yes I will see my feet again, in the hospital, about 24 hours after the baby is out. That lower back pain will just get worse, until about 3 months AFTER the new baby is here. I will have a full nights sleep, when my youngest turns 18.

Tired in your first pregnancy, HA! When I was tired in pregnancy 1, I took a nap or went to bed early. Pregnancy 2 exhaustion, is unbelievable. Maybe because Kenzie was less than a year when I got pregnant, so I was probably still partially recovering, but my 1st trimester was horrible! I remember laying on the floor of Kenzie's nursery while she crawled around playing. I couldn't move, I just had to lay there. 2nd trimester gets better, but by early evening, I would count down the minutes until my head could hit the pillow.



Baby gate open, 10 seconds later

Pregnancy workouts are a sham.  I did a lot of prenatal pilates, yoga and walked every day in pregnancy 1. This time my doctor asked me what I was doing to work out... I said "raising a toddler."  There is no amount of prenatal workout that keeps the extra pregnancy pounds off like chasing a toddler that has just learned to run. The sales clerk at carters asked me if I wanted to sit down because I was winded trying to catch Kenzie dodging between in the clothing racks. To be fair to her, it did seem like a kickass game of hide and seek.

The celebration is over. All the nasty things you have to put up with for 9 months is balanced by the joyful attention you receive in your first pregnancy. The excitement of planning your announcement to friends, family and facebook. You spend hours talking about names, what activities they will be involved in, and what your first born will look like. Finding out the gender is probably the most exciting part in the whole 9 months.
Let's look at pregnancy 2 (this is just my experience and Kenzie was only 9 months when I got pregnant again).  Been there, done that. Yes the gender ultrasound is still exciting. We found out we were having a boy this time, and while one of each is ideal, my dreams of tea parties, Barbies, and playing dolls with my girls were over.  I am sure there will still be some tea parties, but I have seen Kenzie play with her doll... it usually ends up being run over by Dusty, her ride on airplane.

Add your pregnancy differences below!

Spring is almost here!

March has brought lots of sun to the mountains and that means suntan lotion, walks outside, and dreams of Leinenkugel's Summer Shandy.

I am trying to get into the habit of putting sunblock on Kenzie when she gets dressed.  Her alabaster skin is sure to fry up like a weenie of I'm not careful. Oh the smell of sunblock... reminds me of warm skin, open windows, and summer cocktails.

Even though the temperature has barely gotten above 40 degrees we like to take at least 1 walk outside per day. The sun feels good, it tires out the toddler, and it is starting to break my cabin fever.

What a wonderful way to introduce some of the amazing things we learn about in her books. If you haven't bought the book Little Blue Truck yet, I recommend it. It's one of Kenzie's favorites and teaches about animals, trucks, and how to be courteous to everything around you. Our neighborhood is still under construction so I get to point out all the different trucks, including the big evil dump truck from the book.

We also sing "These are the people in our neighborhood" a Sesame Street song from the 80s that I have on a CD sent from Grandma. I want to teach her to be friendly to everyone because I think we have lost that. Most people are walking and talking on their phones or listening to their ipods and are totally disconnected. I think nature should be enjoyed without electronics. I take my phone occasionally to get a video or photo of Kenzie but otherwise we walk hand in hand taking it all in.

As for the summer cocktails, the baby is due right before memorial day so I will be right on track to enjoy that frosty Summer Shandy, a vodka tonic, or a crisp glass of Riesling. Let's open the windows and celebrate!  Ok maybe after some of the snow has melted.

Our 15 Month Old Ski Bunny!

On Sunday we took Kenzie to Copper Mountain to ski for the first time. She is 15 months old and is a pretty sturdy walker and has just started running. Her very favorite activities are walks outside, being tossed around by daddy and pulled in anything... mostly a diaper box cut up to look like an airplane.

With her need for speed, we figured it was an ideal time to try putting her in skis.

We bought a toddler helmet from walmart for $5, because the ones at the ski rental were WAY too big, even with a thick hat underneath. We had a set of plastic skis, but since our friends were in town with their 20 month old, they rented a set with boots.

The weather was perfect! 50 degrees and bluebird skies.

She didn't protest when we put her in the ski boots attached to the skis. Dan had a set of skis on as well and would ski her over to the magic carpet, which was a conveyor belt that takes you to the top. When she was on the belt she would laugh and at the top she would clap and cheer.

Dan kept her in a tight grip between his legs and set off down the hill. 

I don't think she has ever had that much fun. I lost count of how many runs she did. After we would put her back in her boots, she would run over to the magic carpet for another ride up.  Dan was exhausted but she wasn't! 


The only time she cried was when it was over and we were taking her out of her skis.

For a video click on the videos tab above.

Sleep Habits: Luck or Influence?

"You were lucky with Kenzie! The next one is going to give you a run for your money!" - everyone

This is not something I want to think about, but as my due date approaches I am starting to get nervous. Was she born the way she is, or did I influence it? 

Kenzie is a great sleeper. At 15 months she sleeps a solid 12 hours at night and takes a 1.5 hour nap every day. She has slept through the night since she was 5 months old. Even before that she only woke once a night after the first 2 months.

How could I have influenced that?

Before she was born, and immediately following, I read Baby Wise, Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child, 90 Minute Sleep Solution, and any other sleep book I could download into my Kindle. I had an arsenal of tools to use when things weren't working.

What I think probably helped the most was that I was home all day, every day. I never left the house unless it was scheduled immediately following a nap, and I was sure to be home before her next nap time. I gave up all my summer nights at the marina, to be home by 6pm so she could go to sleep on time. I never let her catnap in the stroller or car seat. If there was anything I was (and still am) psycho about, it's her sleep.

Even if I influenced her good sleep habits, what happens now?  The new baby will come and Kenzie will be 18 months old. A full toddler, tantrums and all. A toddler needs to get out in nature and release all that pent up energy. How will I maintain a baby sleep schedule?

I am starting to think the type A, strict schedule, will need to take a back seat to an easy going guideline. If baby #2 sleeps for an hour in his stroller while Kenzie has a great time running around the play ground, maybe that's a win. If the car seat lulls him to sleep, while we drive to our favorite pizza place, that's ok too. The new goal will be to have the majority of his sleep at home, in the crib.

Will loosening the reins mean a worse kid? I don't know, but I might be a happier parent.

15 month shots!

Each vaccination appointment gets worse. It's hard to see your 2 month old baby cry out in pain, but they forget it so much faster than a 15 month old. 

On today's visit Kenzie received 2 final booster shots in one leg and the chicken pox vaccine in the other. She seemed to be doing fine. After the appointment we went grocery shopping and then met some friends out for lunch. During lunch all of the sudden she broke into inconsolable crying. She was writhing in pain. Yes our morning was busy and it was slightly later than her nap time but this was painful crying.

We rushed home (only took 2 minutes) and put her to sleep. She slept unmoving for 90 mins and then it started again. Screaming and crying. The kind that makes you think she was losing her voice.  Nothing was helping. So I put her in a warm bath for an hour. She played and didn't cry until I pulled off the band aids.  I didn't know if that was hurting as well, because as you probably know, the tiny band aid pad is almost never over the wound... the sticky part is usually over the wound.

So my happy girl was content in the tub, however, I had some work emails to return before 5pm and I had to feed the dogs.  So at 4:30 I pulled her from the tub with minimal crying, put on a diaper and laid her on the couch under some blankets.  I turned on Sesame Street and she was quiet and happy.

 

Now this little gal doesn't sit still unless she is strapped into a highchair or booster seat. So to see her laying on the couch while I did one of her favorite things to help with, feed the dogs, was disturbing.  No one likes to see their children in pain and I feel like it is much worse for us as parents to witness it.

The worst of it was that she wasn't using her legs at all. She wouldn't stand, crawl, or even move them.  It wasn't until the Elmo's World song started that her leg with the chicken pox vaccine started kicking. That was a pretty clear indication it was the other leg that was the problem. 

Another dose of Tylenol at 5:30 and by 6:30 we were in her room doing the usual bedtime routine. She finally got up on her own, albeit whimpering, and limped over to her rocking horse. I put her on her horse and read her Goodnight Gorilla. She read along, not saying the words, but mimicking my inflection.

7:00 bedtime. She was so tired there was no crying, thank heavens. She was tossing and turning in her crib for about 20 minutes but we only heard a few whimpers. 

I looked online for the typical duration of pain after vaccinations; 2-3 days. After looking at the vaccination sites on her legs it looks like one of her boosters was placed really high. That may be the cause of her pain in that leg.  I really pray the pain diminishes because I don't know if I can watch her limping around for the next 2-3 days.

When Daddy Feeds Daughter

How many people have heard from their partners "Stop nagging me, it's my kid too!"?

I hear it a lot, because for some reason, I just can't help myself.

Today my husband pushed me aside to feed my daughter. I would normally be happy because feeding is such a long battle. However, I had just heated the pasta up and it was very hot. I blurted out "Wait until it cools down so it doesn't burn her." He just gave me the I-know-what-I'm-doing look and went about blowing on a spoonful of pasta. 

Second bite in she squishes her face up and starts crying. Too hot!

Obviously he is going to make the mistake whether I point it out or not... so how do I stop nagging?

Last night after work they were playing an exciting game of peak-a-boo with one of her blankets. He was tossing the blanket over her head and she was twirling and laughing hysterically.  I warned: "She's going to hit her face on her crib."  5 minutes later, inconsolable crying from a face plant into the crib.

I could go on and on with these examples.  It always starts with my warning. Clearly I should just shut my mouth and let it happen since it's going to happen anyway. 

Emotions of the young and pregnant.

The worst part of pregnancy for me is the uncontrollable emotions of the 3rd trimester. I don't consider myself an emotional person, although my mother would beg to differ, because if you can't share your emotions with your mother who can you share them with? 

This brings up a good point: How different are the emotions of a pregnant mom and a toddler?  I cried yesterday because one of my dogs got out of the yard. I cried this morning because of my crazy work load. I cried 10 minutes ago because I read a heartwarming article.

That being said, my daughter cried yesterday because there was a stranger in the house. She cried this morning because I walked upstairs to take up a load of laundry. She cried 10 minutes ago because she couldn't reach something in her crib.

I try my best to be patient and be the serene nothing-gets-to-me parent that all the books request of you. The constant whining, and all time high separation anxiety, grate on my nerves and before I know it, my perm-a-grin fades and I say things like "Ok now, that's enough" or "Kenzie stop."  Her emotions are just as crazy and valid as mine, right?!

If you can't share your emotions with your mother who can you share them with?  

She wants to share her emotions with me. She runs to me when there is a stranger. She cries for me when I leave the room. She grabs my hand and points to what she wants. I want her to be able to share her emotions with me for the rest of her life.

Although it might be easy to blow it off now, there will be a day when she resents the fact that I am blowing off her emotions. That day turns into years of not speaking to me, running to her room as soon as she gets home, and looking to her friends for support because she doesn't get it from her mom.

From here on out, I will do my best to be supportive of all her emotions, even if I don't agree with them. I will acknowledge them and give them a name, so in the future when she starts talking she can tell me how she feels.

I know I won't be perfect at keeping my cool, but I will try and remember that even though we are 32 years apart, my emotions are just as crazy as hers... at least while pregnant.

Toddler Car Sickness

2 hours into our road trip to see some friends we were in the final stretch. 20 minutes up a mountain left to go.  Miraculously I made it this far without having to pee.  Kenzie was awake and would smile sweetly every time we looked back.

Luckily I was focused on my swollen bladder instead of the motion of the car twisting and turning. Suddenly there was a noise from the back seat. We looked back to find her spewing without stopping for a breath.  You could see the look of terror on her tiny face. This was her first time vomiting and she could have won a gold metal for it.  I had no idea she even had that much to eat!

We pulled off the road and went into action, changing her, cleaning her up, etc. Unfortunately we weren't done with our drive up and there was no turning back now. She threw up a few more times as we finished the drive.

Although clearly cranky, she was back to normal as soon as we got her out of the truck.

We weren't out of the woods yet... we still had the drive home this morning.

We were leaving at 8am so I waited to feed her breakfast until we were in the car.  I sat in the back with her and fed her veggie straws, which is one of the only things she will take her time feeding herself. She did fine for a while and then toward the end she stopped eating and started getting fussy.  I had the puke cup at the ready! Instead she fell asleep and when she woke up again about 90 mins later we were heading straight.  Crisis averted!

When you pack your kids for a trip, no matter how short or long, you always think of every possibility and plan for it.  It's always the thing that you don't plan for that throws you for a loop.