Why I baby bunched...

Yes to most it seems totally nuts that I had two children so close in age. Kenzie and Ketcher are 18 months apart and my life is total chaos. So why did I choose to have two? Why have two so close in age? Why am I bitching about it, when I am the one that decided to do this in the first place?

Let me explain...

First of all, let's quickly back up to my childhood. My brother and sister are so much older than me that technically I would be considered an only child. My favorite memories are with my siblings: Playing hide and seek with dart guns, listening to records and dancing around the kerosene heater. I want my kids to have great family memories they can reminisce about with each other.

1980 something... my siblings and I camping
(or an 80s commercial for Froot Loops)

When trying to decide IF we should have kids, we decided if we are going to have one, we better have two.

When I look back at my journal from Kenzie's first year, she was 12 weeks old when I was ready to start on #2. She was sleeping through the night and had a consistent nap schedule during the day. Everything seemed so easy.

Kenzie at 3 months, look at that face. How could I not want more?

If I would have waited until now to start trying, NO WAY I would have wanted to throw another kid in the mix yet. However, it's been 1 month with 2 babies and things are starting to get much easier.

Other reasons for two under two:

• I don't want to get out of the baby phase and then have to get back into it.
• The equipment like car seats, cribs, highchairs have expiration dates.  Safety requirements change, and I don't want to have to buy more.
• I am done being pregnant, forever. YAY!
• They might be interested in the same activities.
• They might not need me to entertain them constantly. It's possible there may be a moment or two in my future that I am not the sole source of entertainment.
• Safety in numbers.
• If they are too embarrassed to come to their parents with something at least they can talk to each other.
• I wanted the first child to not really remember life without the other. I read that having them under two years apart limits jealousy. We will see...

The new family! Kenzie and Ketcher might need a little more time to let it sink in.

There are arguments for every spacing age you can imagine. Every family has their own perfect size.  Yes for all interested parties, we are done having kids... forever.

First month has come and gone

1 month bites the dust! Good riddance!

Ketcher - 1 month old!

Sleeping - He spent 3 weeks waking every 2-2.5 hours to eat. At 3 weeks he started sleeping at night in 4 hour stretches. A few days ago he slept 8:30 to 4:30... 8 hours! I probably would have woke him to feed him at least once, but I kept on sleeping. This week he has had a consistent 6 hour stretch at night and I will take it, the worst is over! Hizzah! 

No more tears during bath time either! 

Playing - Tummy time only lasts a few minutes right now. He hates it for the most part but I will keep trying. Today he did spend about 15 minutes on the playmat for the first time without crying. He was batting the dangling toys (unintentionally) and looking at himself in the mirror. It was a nice change to see him awake and not crying.

Eating - The boy loves to eat! He also loves to poop. So much poop...

For all interested parties his beautiful dark brown hair has started falling out, so we will have another bald baby until his mystery hair color comes in next year.

Oh no! Not my hair!!!

Kenzie - 18.5 months

The cure for toddler tantrums = lots of outdoor time. We spend about 3 hours per day, rain or shine, outside. The morning is spent at the playground and the afternoon is spent on a long stroller ride.

Happy girl as long as she is outside.

Yesterday afternoon was rainy and ugly. I suited all of us up in our rain gear and headed out for our long walk. I saw about 5 other people outside in the rain, all of them had toddlers!  It is very clear that staying inside with your toddler is WAAAAAY worse than getting rained on.

As for her verbal skills, she is picking up a few new words a week. She is also picking up hundreds of new words she can't say yet.

Here is a funny example of what we don't realize she picks up:
She was sitting on the counter while Dan made her a sandwich this weekend.
He said. "Where are the flowers?"
Kenzie pointed to the flowers.
Dan said. "BOOYAH!"
Kenzie pointed to our Buddha statue sitting on the counter.
Booyah does sound a whole lot like Buddha.
We were both cracking up!

Kudos Kenzie... kudos

Me - 10 lbs to go...

Workouts - I have 2 more weeks until the doc gives me the go-ahead for working out. Right now my workouts consist of about 1.5 hours of walking while pushing a 75 lb stroller, and running around the playground. Pretty much the coolest workout ever!

4 slides, a rock wall, swings... what better gym could a gal ask for?

Diet - cherry cokes and cheez-its. Ok so there are a few more meals in there, but the reality is that I have been eating really crappy for far too long. It's time to get my meal plan together now so I can hit the ground running in 2 weeks. Stay tuned...

The cure for boredom

Dan went back to work so I am back in the saddle again. Ok maybe not "in the saddle," more like being dragged by the foot still strapped in the saddle.

Eiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

My concept of dates and time cease to exist. Nursing sessions feel like hours, nap time feels like seconds. I know it’s the afternoon because that’s when the rain rolls in. There are no moments not taken up by one or both of the kids.

I wake to Ketcher crying to be fed at 5am. I fall asleep at 10pm when he finally nods off for the night. Of course there may be 1-2 feedings in the middle of the night, but at this point I am skilled enough to pull off a feeding and diaper change without really waking up.

"What else is she asleep during?!"

My days are taken up with the art of toddler distractions. When I feed Ketch, Kenz and I play the “where’s the…” game. She loves it and it takes no effort. I name something in the room and she points to it. She knows couch, light, lamp, quilt, door, ceiling, carpet, bassinet, ottoman, window, plant, guitar, tree, mandolin, banjo, chair, table, TV, Ketcher, mommy, remote… the list goes on and on. We do the same thing in the bath if she gets fussy.

I can’t believe I used to sit and watch TV, work, read, or workout. I used to get bored. I can’t imagine being bored any more. I barely have time to eat and as any parent knows, I can't even use the bathroom alone.



"You think you got it bad, at least you can wipe your own butt!"

My bookkeeping business, which consists of 1 employee... me, has picked up another client, so in the highly unlikely event that both children are asleep at the same time, I am working. Right now I am writing this post as I make a lasagna for dinner and Kenzie is playing loudly in her room. Ketcher is asleep in the swing (thank God for the swing!!!) and the dogs are quietly sulking upstairs.  

So what's the cure for boredom?  Have 2 children 18 months apart. I promise you will not be bored. Teetering on the brink of insanity, but never ever bored.

 

The Baby Blues

It's been 3 weeks since delivery and I am still battling the "Baby Blues".

Symptoms of “baby blues” include: (copied from the American Pregnancy Association website)

• Weepiness or crying for no apparent reason
• Impatience
• Irritability
• Restlessness
• Anxiety
• Fatigue
• Insomnia (even when the baby is sleeping)
• Sadness
• Mood changes
• Poor concentration

Luckily I don't have all these symptoms, but I have enough to make me watchful for post partum depression. I will gladly take a happy pill if that would help make me a better parent and wife.

Yup those are the ones!

I used to be a morning person, happily waking up with a song and a bounce in my step. Greeting the day like an old friend. Now I greet the day like Janice, the cranky old lady down the street, that screams at everyone walking by. She needs some sleep and maybe a really strong cocktail.

Ketcher has started to get more alert, and with that is a whole lot more crying. He also has some serious day/night confusion right now. He sleeps all day, so much that I have to wake him to eat, and then at night it's party time... and by party I mean endless poopy diapers, eating, and crying. My mantra is "Only a few more weeks.  Only a few more weeks.  Only a few more weeks."  By 6 weeks old they usually have the day/night confusion under control. By 12 weeks they lose the witching hours and start to fall into a decent schedule. Only a few more weeks.

Kenzie has good and bad moments.  I would be a lot more tolerant of her screaming fits if I had more sleep. Currently every time her high pitched siren goes off, I rush her into her room. It's all I can do to not lose it. By lose it I mean stoop to her level and get frustrated or yell. No sense in both of us tantruming for no reason.

I get especially pissed when Ketcher is finally drifting off to sleep after being awake for endless hours and Kenzie starts screaming. Her screams could break the sound barrier. She obviously inherited my lung capacity and loudness. This too shall pass, right?  When?  Can I get a date on that?

"You wish your eyebrows were this perfect!"
-girl in the mirror

As for me? I am at that horrible stage of thinking I should be back to my pre-baby body. I know... it's only been 3 weeks, but try telling that to the girl in the mirror. She is using my sleep deprivation against me, to get under my skin and taunt me like a sixth grader. I have already been through the hell of sixth grade, I am not going back. (See this post if you need more insight to my past.)

My insecurity is starting to spill out in the form of jealousy. Dan and I have been together for over a decade, so lets not jump to the conclusion that it's other women, I am jealous of his freedom. He will be returning to work on Friday after 3 weeks of man-ternity leave. He will once again enter the world of adult conversation, leaving me alone to talk to the only person who talks back, the girl in the mirror... oh and Janice.

Meet Janice! She likes warm hugs and walks
in the rain, said no one ever.

Only a few more weeks.

Breastfeeding, what they don't tell you

"Breast is Best!" is what every pregnant woman is told. To the point that you feel very guilty if you can't breastfeed or even if you supplement with formula.

Let's talk a little bit about what they don't tell you...

Don't be fooled, it hurts. Maybe for some women it doesn't, because they are magical like a unicorn, or that one lady that's a friend of a friend that gave birth naturally with no pain. I am not saying it will hurt forever, but there will be pain and probably a fair amount of frustration.  I am 16 days in and either Ketch is getting the hang of latching on properly, or I have just become more tolerable of the pain... but most of the time, there is still a minute of discomfort.

I know they are out there... but I have never seen one.
A mom that never had pain breastfeeding  I mean.

Cramping. You feed your baby, your uterus contracts. Yup, those are contractions. They can be uncomfortable, painful, or just annoying, but there they are putting your body back to the way it used to be pre-baby.  No pain, no gain right? Luckily this only lasts for a week or two. Then its up to you to get your body back in shape. I would rather take another month of cramping.

Soooooo thirsty! Did someone pour sand into your mouth? It is painful to sit down and have your baby latch on, only to realize you left your ice cold water across the room. You don't dare move, you just have to suffer through another 40 minutes until you can guzzle that frosty glass of water.  Make sure you have water at all your feeding locations or suffer dehydration worse than Death Valley in July.

Just... out... of... reach... DAMN IT!

It's boring. Not in the beginning. You will stare lovingly at your baby's hair, fingers, nose... but after a month of 40 minute feeding sessions every 2 hours, you will be craving a new episode of Goldbergs.

You will worry. There are no measurements, no estimates, not even pumping will give you an accurate measure of your supply.  You just have to wing it and hope the doctor gives you a thumbs up at your baby's next appointment.  Side note:  You become much more confident after your first baby.

Can't breastfeed or don't want to?  If it doesn't happen it's not the end of the world. My brother and I were formula fed and my brother is one of the smartest people I know. As for me, I am pretty awesome, so there's that...

I only breastfed this little one for 6 months. Once
those first teeth popped through she said to me:
"Ain't nobody got time for that!"

We made it!

Smiling again... phew!

What's that?  Is that a smile? Yup, it sure is!

The eye of the storm has passed finally.  Kenzie, our little ray of light, has returned from darkness.

Her cold is gone, and she is all smiles, hugs and kisses. Without being asked, she has decided to help me with the baby as much as she can. When I set Ketch on the ottoman she knows it's time for a diaper change. She brings me the wipes, a diaper and the vaseline. She loves to hold the bottle and when he cries she comes up and pats my back... it must be because I make a sad empathy face at Ketcher or perhaps she is simply thinking: You brought him home mom, good luck with that!

A snack bowl can be a
tantrum saver.

Since last Tuesday we have been working on different strategies that might help her stay in control. The most important was to cut out all screen time. That means no TV, movies, music, iphone apps, ipad apps, facetime, and anything else with a screen. That also means we keep our phones and computers off while she is awake. So if I haven't returned your call, text, or email, that's why. There is definitely a direct correlation between how much screen time she gets, and how nasty she becomes. This means, no rest for the weary (me).

I have also been mustering up any and all of my energy to spend on her when Ketcher is asleep.  I took back over bath time and bed time and all the meals, except breakfast. She is much happier having mommy back. Dan takes care of Ketcher during those times, so I am not distracted.  I started drawing out the bed time leaving routine to include lots of hugs, kisses and giggles before I leave the room. The last laughs she gives before I leave the room, wash away any of the tension leftover from the day. Which is good because I have Ketcher's witching hours to tackle, which last until midnight.

Our days include LOTS of outdoor time, which is great for my pasty winter-white legs.

Ok dad, lets go play!

She still has a moment here and there where she loses control, but we have an action plan now that works. She also has the usual tantrums when she doesn't get what she wants, but they are over in less than a minute, and we don't even justify them with a glance.

We still need some time to get our new routines set in stone, but we are getting there and the days are so much better. I recall from Kenzie's newborn days that things with Ketcher will get worse before they get better, so I am glad we have a handle on Kenz for now.