In Loving Memory of My Dad

11 days ago I was flying home to spend time with my family. I had no idea I would only be granted a few hours with my Dad before he passed away.

If you were lucky enough to know him, you can imagine the pain I might be feeling right now. It feels endless.


However, if he could communicate with me right now he would be making jokes about finally getting to play poker with Wild Bill Hickok.

That doesn't look like a poker face.

I have pasted my memorial speech below.  I hope you enjoy reading it and please smile and remember all of the joy he brought to our lives.

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In loving memory of my dad, whose essence can’t be described in a 500 character obituary.

My dad didn’t want a funeral. He would never want us to stand around crying for his loss.  This is a celebration of his life. Tonight we will tell stories and jokes and not be afraid to laugh. We will live exactly as he wished: With compassion in our hearts and a smile on our faces, bringing joy and light to everyone here tonight.

I hope that sharing my own stories of my dad will make you remember, make you laugh, and encourage you to share your own stories.

He was a simple man that loved family, hunting, poker, the Detroit Lions and of course fishing. Going through hundreds of pictures no matter how big or small the fish was, he still had the same gigantic smile on his face with every catch.  

Every year, while my friends went to the beach, or Disney World, or skiing for spring break, he and I would pack up for a week of camping and fishing. He would tell amazing stories and have all of us kids believing in Sasquatch and the magic of our Sasquatch sticks that we had created that day out of tree branches. His ghost stories were so scary that a 12 year old could wet their pants. (Don't ask how I know that.) We would hike around the rivers and through the forests. Once I slipped and fell into a giant mud puddle.

Immediately he halted our crew and said: “Amanda, are you okay?”

I said (through gritted teeth): “yes.”

Then he said: “Okay everyone, you can go ahead and laugh now.” Everyone burst out laughing.

Each one of us can stand here and tell a story about how he made us laugh. When I was in elementary school we were asked to talk about what our Dad’s did for a living.

I said “My dad is a comedian.”

My teacher said “I don’t think that’s right, can you explain what he does?”

I said “He sits on a stool and makes jokes into a microphone.”

At the time I didn’t realize the difference between “comedian” and “committee man” at GM but either way I think we all can agree he was always making us laugh.

I can’t think of anyone that would make a better Santa Claus than my dad. When he would put on that suit he became the real Santa Claus. Giving out gifts and laughs to all of the children and adults every year on Christmas Eve. When the children were grown he and my mom would still play Santa by paying mortgages, delivering cookies, and visiting with family and friends.  In my mind he was the real Santa Claus…. Unless he had on a Grinch mask, in which case, don’t even try messing with his bag of candy.

Photo credit: Havasunews
Shockingly there are a bunch of photos of the Grinch
getting arrested so I guess he's not the only one. 

He wasn’t much of a talker, but he would sit on the end of my bed as I played with my toys and just listen to the ramblings of a little girl. He was always there, ready to give me a hug whenever I did or didn’t need it.

In 7^th grade I tried out for cheerleading. I’m sure my parents were dreading tryouts watching their uncoordinated, 11 year old in crooked glasses, practicing for the big day. When that day arrived and my name was not called, my dad drove me home as I cried. He said no words, and just simply handed me a roll of life savers.

To say that my dad loved the Detroit Lions is an understatement. I doubt there was another person that ever rooted for them as wholeheartedly and loudly as my dad.

On my 16^th birthday he took me to my first and only lions game. He yelled so loud from the upper deck at the silver dome I was sure the coach and players could hear him. I’m also sure that’s one of the reasons I have to wear hearing aids today. I will never forget that trip or how often he yelled out to  Herman Moore, or that Greg Landry leaned on the ball one too many times.

That bottom pic is on my 16th birthday.
Clearly I was thrilled.

My dad was a big kid at heart and treated every child like his own. He would walk all of the kids in the neighborhood to school with me. He told cheesy dad jokes and growing up all of my friends would wish they had him as a dad. Even as adults at my bachelorette party he told my friends to call him when the night was over and he would drive them to the diner for breakfast and then home. Oddly enough… that’s exactly what they did. It wasn’t because one of them couldn’t drive, it was just because it was Tom and people just wanted to be around him.

Family always held a special place in his heart.

It didn’t matter if I lived in the same town or hundreds of miles away he would always answer the phone the same way:

 “Is this the person to who I am speaking to?”

38 years of marriage to my mom and it’s undeniable that they loved each other just as much as they always did.  He beamed with pride when he talked about his grand kids. My kids may be too young to remember him, but he will live on through my stories and memories. I will retell his jokes and sing his silly songs to them. He will never be forgotten and he will always bring laughter.  

I know if I ask him tonight: “Dad, are you okay? He would answer yes… you can go ahead and laugh now.”

Thank you for reading. Please feel free to share your memories here or on facebook.