5 Things I Really Need to Work On

I have been working on a "things that I have learned" post, in honor of my 35th birthday this month, but the more I self reflect, the more I realize I have a lot to learn. So here are some things I really need to work on...

1. Learn names.

It's basic. There are tricks to learning, but with me, it doesn't work at all. Here is how the commentary in my head goes, when I meet someone for the first time:

     Me:  Hello neighbor! My name is Amanda.

     Neighbor: Hi Amanda, my name is Bill.

     Me thinking as the neighbor is talking... hmm... his name is Bill? He looks more like a Dave. His name should be Dave.

     Later that night...

     Me: I met the neighbor in the house behind ours today. He seems nice.

     Dan:  What's his name?

     Me: I think it's Dave.

The same goes for kids names, and places that people come from.

Oh she is way too nice to be from Florida... Minnesota seems like a better fit.

    Dan: Where was she from?
   
    Me: Minnesota



2. Ask for help.

Asking for help is healthy. Carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders, until it feels like it will crush you, is not. Yes, I can do it myself... but it will make us all a lot happier if sometimes I reach out and ask for help.  With juggling working from home and 2 kids and now a puppy... there are a lot of moments that I could use a little help. So if you get a text from me, requesting the pleasure of your company, it is probably a small cry for help. If I selected you as my life line... consider it the ultimate honor in trust and friendship.

3. Talk to other people

Is there some kind of class everyone takes when they are pregnant so they all know each other and each others kids? I drop Kenzie at dance class, and all the other parents talk amongst themselves like they are best friends. It's a mix of Moms and Dads that I am guessing are stay at home parents since her class is at 11:15 on a weekday. So how did they find each other?  Where is this network I can join? Do I even want to join? I am busy trying to squeeze in 45 solid minutes of uninterrupted work, but I can't help feel a little envious of their relaxed, social manner.

The only sentence I have muttered since her first class 6 weeks ago was...

     shrieking coming from the room... all the parents stand to peak in the window of the door, hoping it's not their daughter

      Me: "Oh that's mine... if she isn't screaming I would be worried."

How do these people know each other so well, our kids are only 2!

4.  Live in the moment.

This is so much easier said than done. I spend the majority of my time thinking about the future... What am I going to make for lunch, what is happening this weekend, what my kids need to know before they start school, what college they might attend, how far they might move away from me when they are grown up, and who is going to live with me when I rent that condo in Miami and live out my own version of Golden Girls when I am old?  I am going to miss all these sweet moments, if I don't start living in the moment.

I am well aware that I will be the Sofia of the group.

I have been trying to spend at least 10 minutes of quality alone time with each kid, every day. This means getting on their level and doing whatever it is they are into at the moment. That might be working a puzzle alongside Kenzie, because God forbid I touch any of the puzzle pieces she is working with. Crawling around on the floor after Ketcher, who thinks this is possibly the greatest game of all time. It doesn't seem like a lot of time, since I am home with them all the time, but trust me... 10 minutes of uninterrupted time, with no phones, screens, dogs, or sibling distraction is a major accomplishment. Hopefully we can bump that time up once the youngest and the puppy are a little older.

Well said Cookie, well said.

5.  Be a better person.

Being the parent of young children makes you extremely self-centered. It is just how we survive. If we had to also think about the people outside of our crazy households, we would explode. That said, I really need to take some time and be better. Be a better daughter. Be a better sister. Be a better friend. Be a better example for my kids with regard to people in my life. I know it is a stretch... and I know it won't be easy... but it needs to happen and the sooner the better.

Anything I missed? Have any of these struck a cord with you? Tell me about it.

As always, thank you so much for reading!