Happy 6 Months to Me!

I am celebrating 6 months of my blog today. In honor of this being my sixth month I revamped the pages and organized my content a little better.

There are a few reasons I am making a big deal out of this.

1. I am actually following through on something. For most of us, unless we have someone holding us accountable, like a boss, we tend to let things go by the wayside. Am I right?

2. Building on the whole following through part... I followed through while being super pregnant and caring for a toddler. The awesome part is I have all those memories to read back over and enjoy. Also, if I ever want to have another baby I can reference those posts and then smack myself silly.

3. I am doing something good for me. It really does feel good to write. I write on here. I write in my journals. I write letters to my children and seal them in envelopes to be opened a long, long time from now. It's really the only way I can truly share my feelings. If I take the time to write something to you, I am choosing those words very carefully and they probably mean more than you think they do.

4. It fills up my free time. If I wasn't doing this right now, I would be organizing the crawl space.

So here's to the original post that got things started: Emotions of the Young and Pregnant
The post that was the most difficult to write: My Own Worst Enemy
The funny but true post:  Useful Baby Shower Gifts
The one that surprised me most with the number of readers: Our Journey from Childfree to Parents
Finally the one that almost went viral: Dear House Guests

Thank you dear readers for keeping me smiling through the chaos, liking and sharing my posts, and making me feel like I am not alone.

Cheers!

Dear House Guests

Ski season is starting early this year, and with the snow, comes the house guests.

All are welcome at Chateau de Young, however, it should be noted some policies and amenities are different with the addition of a baby and toddler.

Here is our new brochure for the 2014-2015 ski season:

Breathe in the fresh mountain air in the comfort of our mountain hideaway.



Golden Aspens: better make your
reservation for the 2 weeks the trees are
changing, after that it's snow until June 1

As you enter our alpine escape, time melts away, replaced with the sense of expectation, agitation, and frustration that only a vacation among the parents of an infant and toddler can provide.

Warm your hands on a mug of spiced cider as you scramble to find the perfect liquor that will lull you into a sleep deep enough to drown out the sounds of a crying baby. Then, borrow a cozy blanket and take a seat on our comfy sectional, being careful to not set on sharp toys or gooey fruit snacks.  Surround yourself with a view of the mountains, golden aspen trees and crisp mountain breezes, while you take a break from the indoor screaming insanity on our outdoor covered porch. Simply let the majesty of the Rockies envelop you into wondering why you didn't just book a real hotel room.

Our guests will enjoy a complimentary 5:30am wake up call from our toddler banging the crap out of her door. Have no fear, dear guests, we do not release her until 7am, where she will yell up and down the hallway until you stumble out thinking there is a fire.

If you are looking for a vacation complete with a 2 year old crying upon your arrival, and a baby that stares at you and laughs, look no further.  Situated at the base of Peak One, our luxurious three bedroom residence features a room right next to the toddler's room, a bathroom tub sprinkled with bath toys, damaged furniture, a queen sized mattress, and striking views of the incomparable Colorado landscape, making this an ideal place for, at best, a long weekend stay.

Residence Features & Amenities

• Living room with a television without cable 

  

  Festive! Holiday décor up practically all year long.

• Formal dining area with barely enough space to squeeze around the table
• Fully equipped kitchen with countertops, refrigerator, stove, microwave, dishwasher, wine cooler, cookware, dishes and flatware for cooking a nice meal for your hosts
• A 10 x 10 bedroom with a crib, that will be used for napping the baby during the day
• A queen sized bed with, or without, a box spring and a bed frame, depending on how much energy we have
• A bathroom complete with potty chair, bath toys, and a ring of sand in the tub
• Washer and dryer which are conveniently in the upper lever, which you will never see
• High-speed Internet access that works only part of the time
• Front porch

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Property Features & Amenities

• Kitchen
• Community Bathroom
• Living Room
• TV
• Hot Tub coming soon*
  *Additional fees may apply for certain services and amenities.

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Transportation

• Shuttle to and from airport that you will have to pay for yourself*
• Toyota Tundra that seats 5, so if our family is coming along we only have room for one
• Buick that seats 6 but someone will have to sit on the hump between the driver and passenger
  *Additional fees may apply for certain services and amenities.

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Policies

Check-in/Checkout

Check-in: after the babies are awake (7am) and not during nap times, please call ahead
Checkout: before bedtime (7pm)

Cancellation Policy
We accept all cancellations within 48 hours of your scheduled arrival, so I don't have to clean the house.

Housekeeping
I am not your housekeeper. Pick up after yourself. Also, please clean the bathroom before you leave.

Smoking
There is no smoking inside Chateau de Young, however, feel free to freeze your ass outside to do so.

Alcohol


Here's  one of our lovely pets available.

Guests are required to bring alcohol into the residence for themselves and for the hosts. Preferably hard cider. Thank you.

Parking
Complimentary in guest parking only.

Pet Policy
No pets allowed. We have enough already. If you would like to take a complimentary pet home with you, that will be arranged.

Dining
You may cook dinner for us as much as you would like. Should you expect us to attend dinner it will need to be prior to 6pm and somewhere that screaming is allowed.

Children Policy
No child of ours should be talked to, picked up, or attempted to be reasoned with from 7pm to 7am. That should be left to the management team only. Thank you for your cooperation.

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Please text or email for reservations. Black out dates possible, please call ahead.

TV, Clocks and Balls

"12 weeks and everything gets better" and it did.

My first order of business last week was to stop TV time. TV time to my toddler is like having beers with my friends. I go out with the intention of not drinking. After some eye rolls and snarky remarks, my friends order me a drink anyway. I drain that one and contemplate ordering another. My inner voice tells me... well you already had one. So of course I order another. Next thing you know I am up on a karaoke stage rapping "Shoop" by Salt n Pepa. (My friends are nodding their heads right now.)  It's a slippery slope.

"Uh. Here I go, here I go, here I go again..."

In her case, after one episode ends she hands me the remote over and over again. Throughout the day if she gets bored or tired she hands me the remote. If I am having a rough day I will probably let her watch another episode, because I already ruined the day with TV anyway, right?

That little white remote controls the apple TV.
This was followed by "TEEEEE  BEEEE?"

So we went cold turkey.

Instead of watching TV while I took a shower, I put up a baby gate to her room and let her play. The first day she cried almost the whole 10 minutes I was showering. The next day she cried on and off. 6 days later, she whines when I get the gate but then finds something to play with.  Now when she's bored or tired she goes into her room throughout the day and plays. A real life savor when I am trying to put Mr. K down for a nap.

"EEK! Did someone say nap?"

As for the boy, he just started sleeping 12 hours. I had to buy some blackout curtains for the room we sleep in, which helped push him to a 6:30am or 7am wake up time. Heavenly!

At one point this week, I was making dinner and noticed the kids were both on the verge of some serious screaming/crying spells. I hadn't realized that they both needed to eat... like ASAP. I put Mr. K in the reclined highchair and sat little Miss on the counter. Simultaneously I fed baby a bottle and spoon fed little Miss some Macaroni and Peas... yup you read that right. The girl loves peas.  At that moment I was sure a glowing white light surrounded me and I heard the sound of an angels choir. It wasn't that I could do both at once, it was that I didn't get stressed about it. I did what needed to be done and I could even take a moment to pat myself on the back for my efforts.

I bought Kenzie some pull ups instead of diapers so we could get her used to pulling up her own clothes. As great as they are in theory, she ended up with a raging diaper rash.  I decided the only way to fix it, was to let her go bottomless for a few hours. The entire time I was worried about her peeing on the couch, floor, bed, etc. I kept putting her on her potty seat every 15 minutes just in case. After the 12th time on the potty, we stood up and I saw that she actually went!!!!  I cheered, jumped, danced, screamed and carried on like I had just won the lottery. She joined me in the celebration. What a proud parenting moment.

"Just you wait Mom... Just. You. Wait."

Of course a few days later she peed on the porch 3 times. What can you do...

On Sunday we decided to hit the pools for a family swim. Little Miss was so good, she just sat on our laps or walked around holding our hands. Mr K cried out a few times in the beginning but then started to enjoy it. The pools were pretty quiet since Monday was the first day of school up here. So it was pretty disturbing when Little Miss started screaming "COCK! COCK!" and "BAW! BAW!"-which does sound like "ball".  As the wave of embarrassment and giggles settled, we saw all the clocks hanging on every wall and the toy balls floating in the water.

 I guess it's time we work on those "Ls"...

A Letter to My 14 Year Old Self

A friend posted a photo last week from when I was 14. I was the only one in the picture that looked less than thrilled to be there, despite the fact that all my friends were leaning on me and making goofy faces.  It got me thinking... what would I say to that 14 year old girl if I could talk to her? Here it goes...

Me - 14 yrs old

Dear 14 year old Amanda,

I am your 33 year old self. Yes I know you think that is old now, but just wait. When you are 33 you will still feel like you are 25... until you hang out with 25 year olds.

I know you think you know everything now,
and you could probably totally school me on biology vocabulary,
but you really don't have a clue.

First of all, stop worrying. Gah! You worry so much about everything and anything. You are only 14 for crying out loud! Stop carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders. You can't do anything about it right now, and everything will all work out.  Guess what? All that worrying will give you wrinkles, lots of them... so knock it off because Botox is expensive! (You will learn about this in about 10 years.)

Enjoy your family. All too soon there won't be any of them near enough to enjoy.

There is so much more than your tiny town and the people in it. One day you will move away from all of it and start new. In fact, you will do that over and over again. So just enjoy the good people in your life now and forget about the bad.

For the love of God, get a hearing test!!!  We probably would get better grades and maybe be a neuroscientist. Okay probably not, but at least Dad will stop using the broom handle on the ceiling to get your attention. You would finally be able to hear him yell "PHONE!" at the top of his lungs.

Be a good friend.  I know you have been picked on, bullied, and stabbed in the back, but don't let that jade you into not being a good friend. A good friend forgives, includes, and tries. You are going to have major regrets every day of your adult life if you don't do something to change that RIGHT NOW.

Do not go crazy and adopt a pack of dogs when you grow up. Just don't.

Stop being a hopeless romantic. Seriously, life doesn't work like that. The boy you have liked since 7th grade will never ask you out. As a matter of fact, YOU will end up asking out the man you marry. You will be the prince charming you wish for every time you blow out the candles, or wish on a star, or have an eyelash on your fingertip. After high school you finally learn if you want something, go out and get it.

Don't be afraid to do stuff. You have always dreamed of being on stage. Don't let your 7th grade drama tryout, where you nervously giggled through the reading, deter you from trying again. The drama group will be some of the best people you will ever know and they will except you for who you are... nervous giggles and all.

Someday you will appreciate the quiet house and your alone time. When that day comes it is far too late, because now you have children and will never EVER get quiet alone time, ever again.

It's okay to be a nerd. One day you will look back and appreciate your nerdy hobbies instead of hiding them. Yes you love computer adventure games, math, and reading. You should embrace it.

Stop eating ramon noodles 3x a day. There is nothing healthy in those dry cancer packages. Eat an apple instead.

I know your adventures right now are just living vicariously through the people on TV and in movies. Let me tell you- there will be some adventures! You will ice climb, go white water rafting, rock climb, sail in the ocean, swim with the dolphins, see a show at the Moulin Rouge in Paris, go dancing in Miami, and sing so much karaoke you will need therapy on your vocal cords. The greatest adventure you will ever know won't be moving across the country to a place you have never been before... twice; it will be raising 2 amazing kids that make you laugh and cry, and test the limits of your sanity.

Since I am pretty sure you are just rolling your eyes at all my advice, then just follow this:
1. Don't let the past dictate your actions.
2. Be the best version of yourself you can be.
3. No regrets.

Love,
33 year old Amanda

Uneasy Silence

I woke up and my eyes burned. It's my fault. I went to bed too late and then right before I fell asleep a storm rolled in. There was something uneasy about the quiet morning.

I immediately reached over and touched Ketcher in the pack n play. His quiet breathing gave way to flailing arms and legs. He doesn't cry when he wakes up, just looks around gurgling and punching the air. I breathed a sigh of relief but still couldn't shake the uneasiness.

I got up, made the bed, and carried my usual items downstairs: Water jug, phone, laptop. I set everything down on the counter in the kitchen and felt a draw to the hallway.

I stood staring down the dark hallway at the white door at the end.  I stayed perfectly still straining to hear any unfamiliar noises. I could hear Kenzie's sound machine; waves crashing in a calming rhythm. I almost walked away but I heard a thud. I knew that sound well. It was one of her big books hitting the floor.

Then I heard a faint song playing in my head. An acoustic guitar picking the first notes... the lyrics began: "Hello darkness my old friend, I've come to talk with you again..."

My unease was silenced by the first shrill screams of a grumpy toddler.

I ran back upstairs and grabbed the baby. He looked at me and an let out a little coo. He had no idea what was coming. I carried him carefully downstairs and decided to feed him in the last 30 minutes of the quiet morning. We sat in the rocking chair listening to the banging getting louder. She couldn't be contained much longer.

Finally it was so loud I was sure the foundation would crack if I didn't intervene. I set Ketch down in his crib to watch the mobile.

I opened the door a crack. She had retreated to her bed along with 90% of the contents of her room. Her toothy grin gleamed at me through the darkness. I pushed the door open the rest of the way and walked in. She jumped up and ran down the hall screaming "EAT! EAT! EEEEEEEEEEAT!"

I called her back in for a diaper change and she threw her little body down and howled like she had been shot. It was going to be one of those days.

I dragged her back into the room. She made a game out of diaper changing. "UP!" legs go up and "DOWN!" legs come down. I am off balance today, probably from the lack of sleep. "UP!" she cracked me in the jaw with her foot. That was solid. I should have moved. My bad.

I managed to get her feet back into her footy pajamas and she was off and running again. "EAT, EAT EAT!" I could almost hear her end with "DAMN IT!" I wasn't moving fast enough. Here comes another one. She melted on her stairs in the kitchen. Her stomach was obviously eating itself despite the entire box of shells and cheese she ate last night.

Up she went into her high chair just as the beep went off on the microwave. Ah, oatmeal was ready. Dan appeared and her screams of joy filled the kitchen. "DAAAAADEEEEE!!"  The sun rises and sets with her daddy. I set the bowl in front of her and she refused to eat from the spoon I was holding. If daddy wasn't doing it, she wasn't interested. I gladly handed him the spoon and started making his breakfast before he headed to work.

Breakfast was over in 10 minutes and her best friend was trying to leave. She screamed and cried gripping his legs. I felt bad for her. I picked her up kicking and screaming and carried her to the window so we could watch him drive away.

Her tears were dripping onto the windowsill. Daddy waved and a new guttural scream escaped. He got in the truck and pulled away. She was sobbing now.

I pulled the only card I could think of... "Yogurt?"

She whipped around so fast her arms flew out like wings and somehow made contact in the exact spot her foot had hit 20 minutes ago. I sat rubbing my jaw thinking that it must be 5 o'clock somewhere... but here, it's not even 8:00am.