Tuesday, February 23, 2016

Where is the kindness in kids?!

My hands are shaking as I set the library books on the counter. I smile at our favorite elderly librarian who is talking to my kids, which are eagerly awaiting stamps that smell like chocolate. My heart is beating out of my chest and I am telling myself to calm down... a few more minutes and we will be outside.



The kids look over at me and smile. They are standing on the steps that make them tall enough to do the library transactions all by themselves. Kenzie is putting books in her book bag. She hands one to Ketcher, because she knows he likes to feel important too. They are good kids.

The librarian gives out the bumble bee stamp Kenzie picked, and I can see the kids that caused my elevated stress level standing at the entrance of the kids library section. Their Mom is talking to them.

My kids both say a thank-you for the stamps and off we go. A few more seconds... and... we are out.

As soon as we are in the car, I let my anger wash over me.

A nice trip to the library to return books and get a few more, turned ugly. As soon as we walked into the kids room, Kenzie made a bee line for a little boy and girl, maybe 6 years old, sitting on the dragon perched at the top of the "stage"... which is a little more than a glorified stair case up the wall. I try not to intervene, but I am always close enough to listen to what is happening.

Kenzie: "Hi! My name is Kenzie! Want to play with me?"
(We have worked with her on how to introduce herself to other kids.)
Kids: Looking away from her. Nasty faces. Talking to each other.

I am walking with Ketcher and letting him climb the bridge, which is his favorite part of library time. I hear the kids say "Go away!" I walk over to Kenzie with a colorful book and she is distracted for a moment.

The kids walk around and Kenzie inevitably tries to follow.

"Stop following us! Go away!"

Where the hell is the Mom at this point? Oh right behind us, choosing to ignore how awful her kids are being a 3 year old. Awesome.

I get her reasonably distracted and we pick out some Pooh Bear books, and a song book. The kids are back on the top step and Kenzie runs up to sit with them.

The little girl says: "Stop following us, we don't like you!"

I lose my shit.

I don't give a rats ass if that Mom is in the room or not. I walk over to them, pick up my daughter whose face is no longer smiling, and I said: "That was NOT NICE!" and walked away.

Oh... what I would have loved to really say...

I looked at the Mom who obviously heard me and gave her my best - you are a terrible person - face.

I am still sitting in the car. I haven't put it in drive yet. I need to calm down.. I text Dan to tell him how terrible, once again, the people in this town can be. We live in a touristy mountain town. Idealistic from the outside. On the inside, people can be self-entitled, spoiled, jerks. I don't care if you push your attitudes on me, but I will be damned if you, or your children, are going to treat my kids like that.

The kids are getting restless. I start driving to the grocery store and I talk to Kenzie about what happened. I tell her she is kind, and I am proud of her for being nice, even when other kids were being mean.

We get home from running errands and Dan comes home for lunch. He asks Kenzie about her library trip. She tells him all about the two kids that kept saying: "Stop following us, we don't like you."

Hearing it from her mouth is like a punch in the gut. Sometimes I assume she might be too young to understand what is happening, but that is totally untrue. She gets it. She just chose to ignore their comments and keep trying to play with them. She is kind. We are teaching her the right attitudes. Unfortunately it breaks my heart that this happens over and over again.

I am sure there are mean kids in every town, in every class, in every grade... but why? Why is it so hard to teach our kids kindness? Compassion? A sense of community?

Today I will be hugging the Littles tighter and try to be thankful that my kids are the nice ones.


Thank you for reading! Please support your local library and read to your Littles. There is nothing better than a good book and a snuggly baby in your lap, especially when the book teaches kindness.