Spirited youngster at home? Read this now.

My happy thoughts... there they are!  

After struggling these past 2 years with 2 very young children, I finally cracked the code. It's time I passed the secrets on so you can make happier moments with your kids every day.

First off, read this book: Simplicity Parenting. It has changed my life and has made an outstanding impact on the way I parent and the level of calm in my "spirited" preschooler.

If you have a "spirited" child, you are probably periodically combing the internet for something helpful to make you feel like you have some control without squashing their independence - or you have resorted to using Harry Potter spells as your kids tear through the room holding your breakables - "EXPELLIARMUS!"

If that sounds like you, the part about looking for help, then I am about to deliver a lot of information. The issue is, there is too much info for one post. I am breaking them up in manageable chunks over the next few weeks. 

Before that begins, let me tell you that you aren't alone. This quest all started with my anxious child...

Kenzie, my darling out-of-control spirited 3 year old, has been pushing testing us nearly every minute of every day and leaving us completely exhausted since she was 18 months. Some of that was because Ketcher was born 10 days before she turned 18 months, and it was truly not fair. However, she was already a wild child before baby brother, and we had no idea how "in for it" we were. 

On the outside she is an energetic, outgoing, happy little girl that loves holding hands, making friends, and doing anything that takes massive coordination. Turns out she's a very anxious child.  Her tantrums were epic... seriously ear piercing, heart wrenching, on the brink of insanity epic and they would last forever. There was no book that helped, and trust me... I have read them all. 

When she turned 3 things did calm down. At first I thought it was the age, but it was the routine I started when we added school time into our day. It was nothing more than an hour of drawing or reading or doing whatever else from our school toys box. That gave our day structure and it gave her something to expect and look forward to. 

As the months went on, our school time changed to play dates and gymnastics, ice skating and cooking class. We lost the structure and repetition and she lost her feelings of safety and fell right back into the anxiety that caused so much stress last year.

I found the book Simplicity Parenting and began the concepts immediately about 2-3 months ago. I can honestly say this has been the best summer since becoming a parent. We are having fun. My house is clean. My kids are calm and content. My 3 year old ate green beans... (so you KNOW it works!)

In the next few weeks, I will help you to find happiness in the worst times of the day:

• Mealtimes - One dinner, every night. End the picky eating. Stop the "I don't want it!" 
• Cleaning - Your house can be clean with two small children, imagine that!
• Calming - Help stop the sibling squabbles and the tantrums before they start.
• Teaching - Easy ways to teach your littles every day.
• Diminishing Screens - Routines leave very little time for watching TV.
• Bedtime - We don't have bedtime issues and you don't have to have them either.

Where should we start? 

Before I go into detail on the list above, I suggest doing these things first:

• Clean out the kids rooms. The more clutter, the more difficult it is for a child to think clearly and focus.
• Go through the toys and toss the broken, sell or donate the age inappropriate, and box up the rest. (you still have crib toys but your youngest is 8... uh huh)
• Use the quiet time box rotation system. 
• Ditch the toys that the kids don't like, or you don't like (that farm Elmo with no off switch has GOT to go!)
• Lose the super ridiculously flavored snacks. 
• Your kids are never going to like chicken soup if they have super-bold, blast-your-face-off, extra-crunchy Doritos at their disposal. 
• It takes about a month to cleanse the palate from all that junk, so get started now.
• Even if they can get that junk at a friends house, it shouldn't be available in yours.
• Start thinking about a routine.
• Are there meals you can eat together? Maybe it's just one parent, but it will make an impact. 
• Is there time in the schedule for uninterrupted playing? 
• Is bedtime consistent? What about bath time? Lunch time? Snacks? Naps?

I will get working on the rest of the posts. What are your worst times of the day?